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turtles autograph

A poo smear on the back of your underpants caused by the emerging stool
I need the toilet right now, I've just had the turtles autograph.
turtles autograph by papers July 17, 2011

Signing autographs 

Wiping your poopy butt with toilet paper.
It just wouldn't end, I was in the handicapped stall signing autographs for twenty minutes straight, my fans are relentless.
Signing autographs by ShartShooper January 30, 2023

Up all night autographin' it 

A way to say you had sex with someone. Comes from the song "Sweat" by Chris Brown ft. Flo Rida.
"So, dude, what'd you do with your girl last night?"
"I was up all night autographin' it!"

Autograph HER iPad, I'd Like To 

Double entendre, stemming from HotForWords' offer of a chance to win an autographed iPad by joining a site she linked to from her lesson on "Double Entendre" ("I'd like to double HER entendre" - The Todd, SCRUBS)
You won an iPad that HotForWords autographed? Oooh ... (Yoda say) Autograph HER iPad, I'd Like To ... Yehhhhhhhhhhhs!

Autograph session 

The process of trying to get oneself clean after a shit that leaves your butthole agape. Most common after a dropping a deuce with the consistency of Georgia Red Clay.
Why were you in the bathroom so long?" "I was actually done pretty quick, but then it turned into an autograph session when I was wiping my ass. I still don't feel clean...I just know my butt's going to be itchy later.
Autograph session by Frank Vinacelli December 11, 2011

Autocraphelia

One who wishes to have intercourse sex with, on or in a vehicle. Road, marine or otherwise.
Mike penetrates the fuel tank of his vehicle in an act of autocraphelia