Skip to main content

Bridgewater Briefcase

An alternative name for a cask of wine, named after Bridgewater in Tasmania where a large proportion of the population are unemployed and spend their days drinking cheap alcohol, taking drugs and stealing cars.
Dazza was quite the man when he strutted down the street on dole day with his Bridgewater Briefcase and carton of Winnie Blues
Bridgewater Briefcase by eyemhere November 3, 2009
Bridgewater Briefcase mug front
Get the Bridgewater Briefcase mug.
See more merch

Bridgewater, Nova Scotia 

Bridgewater, also known as B-Dubb (which originates from the first letters of the words Bridge and Water, B W, which was eventually shortened to simply B-Dubb) is a town on the South Shore of Nova Scotia with a current population of about 7600. The town's main industry is a Michelin tire plant. If this closes, we're fucked. It also has a huge population of bullies and wiggers, as well as a completely ineffective school system. Basically, it is a shit hole of the first order. However, there is an up and coming music scene in the area, as well as a movie theater, which was built in 2004. Many new and innovative businesses are also moving into the area, some of which survive and others do not.
Bridgewater is routinely made fum of by people living in Halifax, and, in turn, residents of Bridgewater make fun of those living in Liverpool. So it could be said that shit runs down the shore.
Bridgewater, Nova Scotia area resident: Let's bang
Haligonian: Eww, no! You're from Bridgewater!

(This is based on a real conversation which happened over msn)

Bridgewater-Raritan High School 

BRHS is a large high school of well over 2,000 students located on 600 Garretson Road, Bridgewater, New Jersey. The school is known for many things, other than the student's athletic, extra-curricular, and academic achievements:

1. A largely homogenized group of students. Other than a few outliers, most students are white, upper-middle class to upper class students who only wear clothing from Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister, or American Eagle. Students cherish the belief that wearing North Face backpacks and jackets will project an image of wealth and status. And to that point, many choose to drive specific cars to produce a similar effect.

3. Whores. Many of them. BRHS has the unique distinction of being one of the most slutastic educational institutions in the area. The most notorious example of this can be found in the winter, when a sizable number of the student population chooses to wear miniskirts, despite the below-freezing temperatures

3. A completely ridiculous arrangement of the buildings. Supposedly designed by a Californian architect (who was, undoubtedly, on crack when he set up the buildings), BRHS is organized into ten separate buildings, mostly according to subject, which causes students to be forced to brave the snow and harsh weather of New Jersey, many of them, as previously noted, in miniskirts.

4. A laughably bad football team and mostly unattractive cheerleaders. The fortunate aspect of this, however, is that none of the students pay attention to the football team. The unfortunate aspect of this is that the school demands the presence of its students during inane pep rallies.

5. Kids that opt either to come to school high or trade their drugs at school. Either way, the staff and faculty largely ignore the drugs and everybody lives in peaceful harmony. Infamously, a teacher was arrested last year in a drug bust.

6. Often plagued by budget-defeats, BRHS chooses to spend its money wisely. For example, a couple years ago, BRHS choose to spend several hundreds of thousands of dollars to reface the turf of the football field.

7. After being excluded from a place in the top 75 high schools in some obscure magazine that nobody reads (NJ monthly), a very defensive letter from the administration attempted to convince BRHS parents that the ranking system was a flawed system. I mean, come on, SOMERVILLE High School was ranked high than us, the ranking must be whack. Oddly, no critique of Newsweek's ranking system was issued after it named BRHS among the top in the country. Rather, it was proudly promoted on BRHS's main website, funny...
Bridgewater-Raritan High School:

Student 1: We R BR!
Student 2: shutthefuckup, retard.

Bridgewater College 

A quiet school in the middle of nowhere Virginia. Often known to smell of cow dung, turkey Poop, or chicken crap.
A plethora of fecal smells hits you in the face when you arrive at Bridgewater College.

Bridgewater Raritan Middle School 

Located in Bridgewater, NJ, literally tucked in between neighborhoods/wooded areas and in between interstate 287 north. 1000+ kids. Has stricter than ever assistant principals who literally will call you out for the littlest things like not eating lunch in your assigned cafeteria, evil lunch ladies who hover around your lunch table like every few minutes making sure nobody starts a food fight or the like. Some teachers will not be afraid to bombard you with homework every single night to the point it’s too overwhelming. If you get locked out of the locker room for gym because you were late then too bad too sad because then the gym teachers just are quick to give out zeroes to kids who don’t change. Has nosy gym teachers who hover over you while you are trying to change for gym to make sure you are actually changing. You get assigned to one of the two cafeterias to eat lunch in all year, no switching back and forth or the assistant principals will catch you. On the bright side your two years at this hell hole will include two overnight trips which are actually really fun and way more fun than actual learning. Otherwise it’s two long years you're stuck at this place though it may go by quick until you are free at last at graduation. Then it’s Bridgewater Raritan High School
8th grader: you excited about going to Bridgewater Raritan middle school?
6th grader: I guess you can say so. I’m not ready for the large amounts of homework!
8th grader: It won’t be as bad as you think it is, trust me!
6th grader: *says no more*

Bridgewater-Raritan High School 


BRHS is a large high school of well over 2,500 students located on 600 Garretson Road, Bridgewater, New Jersey. The school is known for many things, other than the student's athletic, extra-curricular, and academic achievements:

1. A largely homogenized group of freak students. Many students are white, upper-middle class to upper class students who only wear clothing from Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister, or American Eagle. Students cherish the belief that wearing North Face backpacks and jackets will project an image of wealth and status. And to that point, many choose to drive specific cars to produce a similar effect. Other students are "ghetto" and wear shitty clothes and really freaking low pants to look "ghetto". There are also freaking tons of emo people who smoke tons of weed and wear emo clothes and listen to emo music. There are so many emo people, they could go start their own wrist-slitting school. they wear black and tight and ugly clothes and are total mall-rats who all go there and smoke tons of cigs and weed. they only like other emo mall-rats and think they're so freaking great.did i mention how much weed they smoke?

3. Whores. Many of them. some are really nasty too. BRHS has the unique distinction of being one of the most slutastic semi-educational institution-asylums in the area. The most notorious example of this can be found in the winter, when a sizable number of the student population chooses to wear miniskirts, despite the below-freezing temperatures. many of them will have sex with multiple people almost every night when they go party and get super high and drunk.

3. A completely ridiculous fucked-up arrangement of the buildings. Supposedly designed by a stoned drunk high Californian architect (who was, undoubtedly, on crack, weed, heroin, LSD, PCP, meth, drunk, and salvia when he set up the buildings), BRHS is organized into ten, no eleven separate buildings, mostly according to subject and other stupid things, which causes students to be forced to brave the snow and harsh weather of New Jersey, many of them, as previously noted, in miniskirts. and all the ghetto people hang in front of the guidance office. all the emo people are everywhere, but usually meed around the 1000 building, at the three entrances.

4. A laughably bad football team and mostly unattractive, nasty, slutty cheerleaders. The fortunate aspect of this, however, is that none of the students pay attention to the football team. The unfortunate aspect of this is that the school demands the presence of its students during inane pep rallies. (they are so gay, even when blown-up condoms are around by one of the classes.)

5. So many people opt either to come to school ridiculously high or buy their drugs at school (there are massive amounts of weed here). Either way, the staff and faculty largely ignore the drugs and everybody lives in peaceful harmony(well, sort of, there are serious fights that seem to happen every week and tons of drama, and fighting, much of which is over weed). Infamously, a teacher was arrested two years ago in a drug bust. (others smoke weed to though)

6. Often plagued by budget-defeats, BRHS chooses to spend its money wisely. For example, a couple years ago, BRHS choose to spend several hundreds of thousands of dollars to reface the turf of the football field.(that is about the wisest money they ever spent, even though the older football field was really nice but the team sucked so bad all the other money is wasted on even dumber things like having 75 cameras and catching almost nothing of any importance, but then again, most of the money goes to even more useless things)

7. After being excluded from a place in the top 75 high schools in some obscure magazine that nobody reads (NJ monthly), a very defensive letter from the administration attempted to convince BRHS parents that the ranking system was a flawed system. I mean, come on, SOMERVILLE High School was ranked high than us, the ranking must be whack. Oddly, no critique of Newsweek's ranking system was issued after it named BRHS among the top in the country. Rather, it was proudly promoted on BRHS's main website, funny... but that has changed since then and is now considered a load of shit school
Bridgewater-Raritan High School
Bridgewater-Raritan High School studnets:
Student 1: We R BR!(jk)
Student 2: shutthefuckup, emo pot-headed, whorey fag.

bridgewater primary 

the shittiest school in the southern hemisphere, I was learnig shit there (keyword, shit) that I learnt in year 2 at my previous school. marbury and the principal and the rest of the teachers there (except Jodi and Sue, they were good teachers, I actually learnt stuff thru them) and have a pike shoved up their arses and drowned, then revived, then have the same thing happen to them all over again
ME: lets go kill some bridgewater teachers
OTHER ME: yes, that'll be good for a laugh.