Apostrophe 

Particularly useful piece of English punctuation for making yourself look stupid. You can do this in three main ways:
1. Putting an apostrophe in when it's completely unnecessary.
2. Leaving it out when it's needed.
3. Putting it in the wrong place.

1. My parent's have taken control of my life.
2. Mat was Daisys hero, til he started ignoring her.
3. I do'nt know how to use an apostrophe.

Apostrophe by NH3 December 18, 2007

Apostrophe Atrocity 

This term is similar to the apostrophe catastrophe, but it is reserved for the most revolting of apostrophe errors. Only a true abomination of a linguist would commit an apostrophe atrocity.

Examples of the apostrophe atrocity:

"Did yo'u do the home'work?"

"I do'nt think that its nece'ssary"

"O'h loo'k, its our Eng'lish teach'er"

"Why i's sh'e cryi'ng?

Apostrophe Atrocity by Enigmatical November 20, 2010

apostrophe 

A punctuation mark often erroneously used to indicate "Beware of oncoming S!" as in "Apple's 3 for $2."

Mo Viele speculates on the origin of apostrophe abuse at her blog "fontidious":

the apostrophic epidemic

I often wonder who patient zero was.

I imagine that some lowly shopkeeper went out to paint “Bananas $3” on his sign, and was stricken with an uncontrollable urge to add an apostrophe. And soon his banana was the proud owner of $3. Not to be outdone, his rival down the street advertised “Banana’s 2 Dollar’s.” Then someone from the town full of affluent bananas went on a trip, carrying the contagion with him. “Train’s Departing Every 5 Minute’s.”

The pandemic had begun.

apostrophe by Grinning Cat April 6, 2015

Oxford Apostrophe 

A polite way to describe horrendous misuse of punctuation.

"Without the phony Russia Witch Hunt, and with all that we have accomplished in the last almost two years (Tax & Regulation Cuts, Judge’s sic - Oxford Apostrophe, Military, Vets, etc.) my approval rating would be at 75% rather than the 50% just reported by Rasmussen," shrieked our national shame.

Oxford Apostrophe by MasculineToiletGuy December 7, 2018

Apostrophe abuse 

The flagrant insertion or omission of an apostrophe in written English.

Look at that sign over there! It says "Steves Gun's". That's apostrophe abuse!

Apostrophe abuse by onasphere August 13, 2010

Apostrophreak 

The anguished cry that comes from a teacher when students use the apostrophe incorrectly, even after being taught.

ex: The teacher apostrophreaked as she marked the essay.

Apostrophreak by Apostrophreak March 3, 2021

Bottom apostrophe 

When a man pulls out after anal sex and a small, crescent-shaped piece of shit is left protruding from his partner's asshole.

You should have douched, bitch. Look at that bottom apostrophe hanging out your crack!

Keep that dirty bottom apostrophe away from my Egyptian cotton sheets you dirty skank!

What the fuck, bitch?! There's some fucking bottom apostrophe hanging off you!

Bottom apostrophe by Goitmeister August 25, 2016