Euphemism used in
human dynamics, including but not limited to romances, workplaces and general social discourse.
It is used by X, who is miffed at Y’s refusal to be manipulated by X or act in a way that X wishes them to. X is socially precluded from saying, “Damn! Y won’t bend to my will, which is the only thing that matters! Me! ME! MEEEEEE!!!!! Curses!”, and so, rather, quietly responds with the back of the verbal hand, slyly denigrating Y as having “issues”. The “issue”, of course, is that Y has enough character or determination not to
dance like a monkey to X’s tune. The term is
non-
gender specific, as both men and women are likely to use it in some form or another.
Example
1: John
Doe has tried to inveigle Jane Moe into bed. She says no. Thwarted, John
Doe sneers that, “well, you know, Jane Moe has Issues regarding strong men”, pejoratively implying
lesbian tendencies .
Reality: John
Doe is an irritating, self-satisfied blowhard and well worth avoiding.
Example 2: Jane Fictional has tried to alter the conduct of her boyfriend, John Examplefellow. He refuses to make changes that are, in her view, necessary to improve the relationship; he has reasons for doing so, based on his experience(s) and/or view(s), and presents them. Jane will complain to her friends that John “can’t move forward because he has Issues”.
Reality: she is nettled that she is unable to “fix the rules” of the relationship, and ascribes this not to controlling tendencies on her part but to nonexistent problems on his.
Translation Assistance. When
one hears the phrase “(s)he has issues…”, mentally edit the phrase to read “(s)he won’t do what I want” and see if that more accurately describes the real outlook of the speaker. If it does, you have identified and isolated the Euphemism, and can run for shelter at your
best speed.
