The act of attempting to finger someone with your foot whilst watching Paul Blart Mall Cop, starring Kevin James as the titular mild-mannered security guard who must save the day when his shopping mall is taken over by a gang of organised crooks.
"omg becky, i cant believe dinosaur cumboy blarted me last night"
"eww blarting is so gross, at least he didn't grown ups 2 (featuring adam sandler, kevin james, chris rock and david spade) you like connor did to me the other night"
Blarping occurs when someone discloses a lot of personal information without consideration to the interest or comfort of the person listening. Typically it is emotionally uncomfortable or even traumatic content which can overwhelm the person they are blarping at.
It is a way of unconsciously infecting another person with the overwhelming feelings and horror we pretend to ourselves doesn't exist.
Wow, this person has been blarping at me for 5 minutes. I can no longer politely sit by while my soul is crushed under the weight of their crazy. I'd suggest therapy, but the therapist may kill themselves if they had to listen to this for a whole hour.
The act of having sex, either hetero or homo, while inside of or on top of a dumpster
1:Mike, what happened to you last night?
2: ugggh, went barthing with that hog i picked up at the bar last night. Not feeling to good about myself right now.