you know that weird black star symbol on your keyboard? or is it a flower? who cares. anyways, asterisks are usually used in bad words to cancel out the vowels such as “f*ck” or “sh*t”
so instead of using a bad word, why not just call someone an asterisk? they will most likely not know what you are talking about, but you will since you’re reading this post right now. when someone pisses you off, call them an asterisk. or text them one. * haha see what i did there
“god he’s such an asterisk!”
“what are you talking about?”
you probably know a few flower girls. they’re the in between hybrid of a vsco girl and a hippie. they thrift almost every piece of clothing they own, because “sustainability” and shit. they’re probably vegan, if not vegetarian, and meal prep their lunches for the week every sunday night. they love flowers, especially pastel coloured ones because they “match their outfits better”. they pretend to love the outdoors by posting lots of pictures by trees and grass, but secretly hate it. they only like indoor plants and things that don’t require touching dirt. they definitely go to farmers markets and bizarres on the weekend to support local shops and farmers. only buys organic fruits and vegetables. or grows their own. you can easily distinguish a flower girl from the crowd by looking for white sneakers, dainty jewelry, and any article of clothing with a butterfly on it.
“that girl over there is such a flower girl”
“how can you tell?”
“do you see her air force 1’s?”
when something happens and it’s too bad to just call is awkward. it’s guacward. and no it’s not because i had mexican food for dinner. or not because i have an extreme fetish towards avocados.
like when you’re best friend’s ex walks into the store you work at with another girl. guacward! also because it just sounds better and rolls of the tongue. awkward sounds like you’re an “awkward preteen” that doesn’t know how to act in front of her friends. guacward makes your awkward encounters a little more, well, fun. i guess that’s the word. and it’s fun to say.
“omg i just caught andy and tiff making out in the stairwell”
most likely goes to overnight camps in the summer, wears either sperrys or birkenstock’s, makes camp bracelets for all his friends. marcus is a true down to earth kinda guy(literally he LOVES the earth), and he knows how to treat girls right. he probably owns a pickup truck, or at least uses his family’s, which they probably own one since they most likely live on a farm. marcus grows his own vegetables which he pickles and then uses them in the martha stewart recipes he’s constantly looking up. when he’s not in the garden or the kitchen, he probably is with his dog, who is most likely his best friend, and is ALSO a golden retriever, husky, or australian shepherd. he takes long walks on random trails, or bikes. marcus’ are also very smart. do not underestimate them. they like math, but exceed better in english. they also like to go fishing for fun. buys his food from organic markets and buys most of his snacks and pantry items from the “natural food” aisle in the grocery store. loves children, because he’s so used to being their camp counsellor in the summer. marcus is also a big softie. he wants true love, and won’t settle for anything less. when he finds the girl he knows is the one, he isn’t hesitant to say so. and any girl who has him is lucky. he would treat them better than anyone else in his life, and would do anything to make her smile. a marcus is a keeper. don’t look past them.
“who’s that kid over there? he’s cute!”
“ohh that’s marcus, i heard he’s really into nature and stuff”
granola girls, but sluttier. they like hiking and biking and nature, but wear short-shorts and crop tops. they eat natural foods because it’s good for you but also to keep that figure slim. most likely accompanied by a granola boy, whom they are probably dating, or have known since their very first year in summer camp. granola hoes don’t wear a lot of makeup, they are naturally really pretty, and a lot of boys find them attractive. they own hydroflasks with stickers from places they have hiked at, and tie friendship bracelets to the lids of them. they also use kanken backpacks in a pastel shade, and own either the green or purple iphone 11. granola hoes are usually found on trails, which are their natural habitat. catch one if you can.
“bro check out that chick, she’s hot”
“she gives total granola hoe vibes”
a friend that you are so close to that you would consider them family. even your own family would consider them part of your family. framily stick together through thick and thin.
"my mom loves jessica, we consider her family"
"you mean, framily"
"yeah, that's the word"
a casual almost dating kind of relationship. happens in the warm months of may-september when school is out! usually happens within summer workplaces where students hookup with each other all summer before going back to school in the fall. similar to friends with benefits, except these usually only last a couple of months before they come to an end due to the couple splitting off back to reality.
“omg did you and danny hook up all summer? where is he now?”
“he’s at college now. but he said he’ll come back to work again next summer. what a summer fling that was!”