A really annoying guy who is obsessed with sneakers and will show you memes any opportunity he gets. He is heckin tall but will NOT tell you the weather up there (rude, I know). Zane will ask you questions about the video games y'all have in common and will DESTROY you if you don't listen to the same music as him (even if the artists are 1. garbage or 2. irrelevant). His favorite soccer team is ass and he can't stand it when people disrespect the names of shoes (for example, if someone were to call Air Jordans "AJs"). He stacks magazines incorrectly and will touch your phone *without permission*. Zane Hulk smashes through anything delicate and as such needs 0.7 led- the worst type. He has -69 IQ and doesn't understand when someone is flirting with him (even if they were to launch a brick at his face that says "you're cute, fool"). He has the likeness of asparagus but will not admit to it, even though he is tall and slim with SiLkY hair.
He got a gf though, so props to him for being like this.
Girl 1: Omg. Did you hear that Zane got a girlfriend?!
Girl 2: Girl, it's no surprise to me. He is a catch.
Girl 1: It sucks that we never swiped up on his stories like his gf did.
Girl 2: I know, we really missed out.
