25 definitions by _The Secret_
We know chemistry when we feel it with another person, but we don't always know why we're drawn to one person over another. Is it just a cascade of neurotransmitters and hormones conspiring to rush you toward reproduction? Is it attraction borne of a set of shared values? Or is it bonding over specific experiences that create intimacy?
It's probably a combination of all three, plus ineffable qualities that even matchmaking services can't perfectly nail down.
With few exceptions, behavior has features of both genetics and history. It's nature and nurture.
Scientists who study attraction take into consideration everything from genetics, psychology, and family history to traumas, which have been shown to impact a person's ability to bond or feel desire.
Love can be broken down into three distinct stages: lust, attraction, and attachment. In each stage, your body chemistry behaves differently. It turns out that "chemistry" is, at least in part, actual chemistry. Biochemistry, specifically.
In the lust and attraction phases, your body is directing the show, as people can feel desire without knowing anything personal about the object of that desire. Lust, is nothing more than the existence of a sex drive, or the craving for sexual gratification. It's a sensation driven by estrogens and androgens, the female and male sex hormones, based in the biological drive to reproduce.
It's probably a combination of all three, plus ineffable qualities that even matchmaking services can't perfectly nail down.
With few exceptions, behavior has features of both genetics and history. It's nature and nurture.
Scientists who study attraction take into consideration everything from genetics, psychology, and family history to traumas, which have been shown to impact a person's ability to bond or feel desire.
Love can be broken down into three distinct stages: lust, attraction, and attachment. In each stage, your body chemistry behaves differently. It turns out that "chemistry" is, at least in part, actual chemistry. Biochemistry, specifically.
In the lust and attraction phases, your body is directing the show, as people can feel desire without knowing anything personal about the object of that desire. Lust, is nothing more than the existence of a sex drive, or the craving for sexual gratification. It's a sensation driven by estrogens and androgens, the female and male sex hormones, based in the biological drive to reproduce.
Attraction may be influenced less than lust by physiological factors -the appeal of someone's features, or the way they make you laugh—but your body is still calling the shots at this stage, pumping you full of the hormones cortisol, adrenaline, and dopamine, effecting your brain in a way that's like the way illicit substances do.
The attachment phase is characterized by increases in oxytocin and vasopressin; these hormones are thought to promote bonding and positive behaviors to sustain connections over time in order to fulfill parental duties.
Additionally, while oxytocin has long gotten the credit for being the love hormone, scientists dont use oxytocin freely anymore, because it has broader functions than simply bonding. It also plays a role in the contraction of the uterus to stimulate birth, instigating lactation, and sexual arousal; low levels have been linked to autism spectrum disorders.
Chemistry has been linked to a charmingly named hormone known as kisspeptin. Produced in the hypothalamus, kisspeptin plays a role in the onset of puberty, and may increase libido, regulate the gonadal steroids that fuel the sex drive, and help the body maintain pregnancy. There is a lot more study about the role kisspeptin plays in attraction.
Chemistry predicts nothing but chemistry. This is because chemistry can make people blind to actual incompatibilities or warning signs. A spark can build based on what you have in common. You can grow into love, but you grow out of lust.
The attachment phase is characterized by increases in oxytocin and vasopressin; these hormones are thought to promote bonding and positive behaviors to sustain connections over time in order to fulfill parental duties.
Additionally, while oxytocin has long gotten the credit for being the love hormone, scientists dont use oxytocin freely anymore, because it has broader functions than simply bonding. It also plays a role in the contraction of the uterus to stimulate birth, instigating lactation, and sexual arousal; low levels have been linked to autism spectrum disorders.
Chemistry has been linked to a charmingly named hormone known as kisspeptin. Produced in the hypothalamus, kisspeptin plays a role in the onset of puberty, and may increase libido, regulate the gonadal steroids that fuel the sex drive, and help the body maintain pregnancy. There is a lot more study about the role kisspeptin plays in attraction.
Chemistry predicts nothing but chemistry. This is because chemistry can make people blind to actual incompatibilities or warning signs. A spark can build based on what you have in common. You can grow into love, but you grow out of lust.
by _The Secret_ February 25, 2020
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A feeling driven by extreme emotional suffering. A feeling so strong it starts to affect your general well-being whether it be psychological or physical.
Usually a feeling brought on by yearning or fond memories of a certain person; which when any form of pain arises it is amplified.
Usually a feeling brought on by yearning or fond memories of a certain person; which when any form of pain arises it is amplified.
by _The Secret_ August 06, 2019
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Although almost noone can agree on a single definition of love, most agree that it plays a significant role on their psychological well-being (Te Taha Hinengaro) and our Te Whare Tapa Whā.
Love is not an emotion nor a feeling, but a chemical reaction driven by extreme feelings of respect, euphoric attraction and willingness to put another's happiness and well-being above your own.
Love and lust have very similar characteristics, but unlike lust, love is long lasting.
Love is not an emotion nor a feeling, but a chemical reaction driven by extreme feelings of respect, euphoric attraction and willingness to put another's happiness and well-being above your own.
Love and lust have very similar characteristics, but unlike lust, love is long lasting.
Other definitions are mostlikely emotionally charged and bear no logical or rational reasoning. They have no correlation to the bigger picture; that is: love for family members or even pets, but are purely directed at one's partner.
However with your partner love can in some cases give you a lust-like feeling after years of being in a close relationship.
Love is so nebulous to many, even the famous band 'Foreigner' wrote a song titled "I want to know what love is".
However with your partner love can in some cases give you a lust-like feeling after years of being in a close relationship.
Love is so nebulous to many, even the famous band 'Foreigner' wrote a song titled "I want to know what love is".
by _The Secret_ October 27, 2019
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There are 5 Love Languages.
More than one love language can apply to any one person.
Understanding is the key to forming a long lasting bond and relationship.
Words of affirmation – using words to build up the other person. “Your eyebrows look great today".
Gifts – a gift says, “she thinks of me".
Acts of Service – Doing something for your spouse that you know they would
like. Cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, are all acts of service.
Quality time – by which I mean, giving your spouse your undivided attention.
Taking a walk together or sitting on the couch with the TV off – talking and
listening.
Physical touch – holding hands, hugging, kissing, sexual intercourse, are all expressions of love.
More than one love language can apply to any one person.
Understanding is the key to forming a long lasting bond and relationship.
Words of affirmation – using words to build up the other person. “Your eyebrows look great today".
Gifts – a gift says, “she thinks of me".
Acts of Service – Doing something for your spouse that you know they would
like. Cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, are all acts of service.
Quality time – by which I mean, giving your spouse your undivided attention.
Taking a walk together or sitting on the couch with the TV off – talking and
listening.
Physical touch – holding hands, hugging, kissing, sexual intercourse, are all expressions of love.
by _The Secret_ February 25, 2020
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/ˌdʒʌkstəpəˈzɪʃ(ə)n/
the fact of two things being seen or placed close together with contrasting effect.
the fact of two things being seen or placed close together with contrasting effect.
by _The Secret_ October 28, 2019
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Mirroring or The chameleon effect describes our human instinct to “empathise and affiliate” with other people.
We intentionally imitate subtle aspects of each other's mannerisms, postures and facial expressions. We also imitate each other's speech patterns, including inflexions, talking speed, and speaking time. Sometimes we even take on the foreign accent of the person to whom we are talking to or thinking about, sometimes leading to embarrassing consequences.
We intentionally imitate subtle aspects of each other's mannerisms, postures and facial expressions. We also imitate each other's speech patterns, including inflexions, talking speed, and speaking time. Sometimes we even take on the foreign accent of the person to whom we are talking to or thinking about, sometimes leading to embarrassing consequences.
Also referred to as mimicry, it can occur subconsciously. Your spouse or crush may be overseas in China, and you could find yourself subconsciously travelling nearby to Chinatown, New York for example, as a way of being with them. Mirroring consists of a wide-ranging spectrum including, but not limited to, dress, gestures, vocal pitch and tone, posture, distance, eye contact, distance, and body orientation.
Research has shown that people increase mimicry of another person when affiliation goals exist compared to when not meaning if you are engaged in a task with other people, or working on a collaborative project, it is more likely that mimicry will be displayed. However, the odds are that no one will realize it. Mimicry is often one aspect of being charismatic, being persuasive, building rapport, and having a positive impact on someone. On the other hand, even if you aren't aware you're mimicking, it can be an expression of great fondness. Repeating their words, catchphrases and accent, even drinking and eating the same foods as them is a tell tale sign you have chemistry or strong feelings
Research has shown that people increase mimicry of another person when affiliation goals exist compared to when not meaning if you are engaged in a task with other people, or working on a collaborative project, it is more likely that mimicry will be displayed. However, the odds are that no one will realize it. Mimicry is often one aspect of being charismatic, being persuasive, building rapport, and having a positive impact on someone. On the other hand, even if you aren't aware you're mimicking, it can be an expression of great fondness. Repeating their words, catchphrases and accent, even drinking and eating the same foods as them is a tell tale sign you have chemistry or strong feelings
by _The Secret_ February 25, 2020
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A feeling of chronic emptiness and loneliness. Abandonment of ourselves, and not listening to our own hopes and desires.
You might abandon yourself unintentionally or unknowingly because you’re striving for perfection or others’ approval. You might stop caring for yourself while focusing on other things you think are paramount to you. Abandoning ourselves can spark anxiety, depression, guilt and shame.
You may displace the feeling of sadness with emptiness. This kind of empty feeling comes with not caring about much, not being interested in things, not feeling fueled by anything in particular.
If this emptiness is because of a loved one’s passing, don’t get angry with yourself for grieving years later. Because it is agonizing to lose a loved one, and though the loss changes shape over time, it never becomes OKAY that the person died… In that case you learn to live life alongside that hole of missing that person.
Sometimes, the hole forms because you missed out on love while you were growing up. This doesn’t mean you didn’t have a loving family. There are just certain kinds of love .
You might abandon yourself unintentionally or unknowingly because you’re striving for perfection or others’ approval. You might stop caring for yourself while focusing on other things you think are paramount to you. Abandoning ourselves can spark anxiety, depression, guilt and shame.
You may displace the feeling of sadness with emptiness. This kind of empty feeling comes with not caring about much, not being interested in things, not feeling fueled by anything in particular.
If this emptiness is because of a loved one’s passing, don’t get angry with yourself for grieving years later. Because it is agonizing to lose a loved one, and though the loss changes shape over time, it never becomes OKAY that the person died… In that case you learn to live life alongside that hole of missing that person.
Sometimes, the hole forms because you missed out on love while you were growing up. This doesn’t mean you didn’t have a loving family. There are just certain kinds of love .
Tell yourself positive things.
Dont focus on failures.
Try not to minimize what you're feeling.
Avoid behaviours or addictions that you think avoid your feelings.
Don't blame yourself or feel guilt about things that are out of your control.
Show yourself compassion like you would with a close friend or family member.
Commend yourself.
Desolation will pass...
Dont focus on failures.
Try not to minimize what you're feeling.
Avoid behaviours or addictions that you think avoid your feelings.
Don't blame yourself or feel guilt about things that are out of your control.
Show yourself compassion like you would with a close friend or family member.
Commend yourself.
Desolation will pass...
by _The Secret_ August 14, 2019
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