3 definitions by The Flying Dutchman! Yee!

Top Definition
When an extremely drunk man, usually an uncle or extended cousin, gets so drunk at a wedding that right when the bride and groom go to cut the cake, he drops his pants, climbs on top of the table, and puts his wrinkly, sweaty balls on the top of the cake, in a display of untamed masculinity.
Person #1: Man my uncle Bob did the persian cake topper at my brothers wedding.

Person #2: Man thats gross. Did you eat a piece of the cake afterwards?

Person #1: Shut up. Quit being such a dick hole you pape!
by The Flying Dutchman! Yee! October 29, 2006
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A situation where an extremely obese man, wearing washingtons, performs the "69" position with a girl, while eating a bucket of KFC chicken, and screams "tell me when to go!!" shortly before ejaculation.
Person #1: Man did you hear that Steve e-69'ed Cheryl.

Person #2: Yeah thats pretty gross...and Daniel said he had seconds.

Person #1: Yeah Daniel's a big Jew. He e-69'ed my mom. What a pape!
by The Flying Dutchman! Yee! October 29, 2006
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When you go to get a massage and receive the unfortunate news that your masseuse is Armenian. Shortly after, a very large and domineering woman, usually named Hilda or Helga, walks in and places her greasy hands on the top of your back. She proceeds to massage you, but you cannot help but feel a third thing massaging you, so you look to only see her big floppy cock out, and it is actually massaging your ass. To not be viewed as homosexual, you tell her to get the fuck off and she proceeds to beat your ass and for the next two years your friends give you shit for getting your ass kicked by a girl.
Person #1: Man I heard you got an armenian massage.

Person #2: Yeah it fucking ruined my life.

Pape: Haha jerk. That sucks for you. Man my Porsche-a is so much better than your car.

Person #2: Hey Pape go suck a dick. And by the way, its Porsche and yours is broken.
by The Flying Dutchman! Yee! October 29, 2006
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