8 definitions by Sexy Simian

an individual who always denounces exotic or diverse cuisines or kills the mood at a good meal by discussing personal examples of intestinal distress
Billy is the group's designated culinary buzzkill. He killed the mood at a dinner party just last week, making sure we all knew about his tricky stomach. "I love Itallian food," he said with an irksome smile, "but it doesn't usually like me back."
by Sexy Simian November 29, 2010
the small, bothersome problems that occur in the workplace on a Monday morning (usually between 8 a.m. and 10 a.m.), primarily because things weren't accomplished on the previous Friday
The fax machine failed over the weekend and no one ran the weekly report on Friday, so Sally spent all morning putting out little Monday fires.
by Sexy Simian November 29, 2010
similar to "gaydar," straightware is a heterosexual person's intuitive sense that allows them to identify fellow straight people; usually more critical to straight men
At the cocktail party, Frank used his straightware to sense that it was "safe" to tell the lesbian joke he heard at work that day.
by Sexy Simian December 7, 2010
another term for people or a single person, referring to the fact that humans are composed of just a few pounds of elements and minerals
When I didn't do my chores, my Dad referred to me as a bag of conscious chemicals.
by Sexy Simian December 3, 2010
A lesbian family friend who holds the honorary title of "aunt" in regards to one or more of the family's children.
Joan is my kids' favorite launt, more involved in their lives than my own siblings.
by Sexy Simian December 3, 2010
the planned activity of attending a party or social gathering and blending into the background; wallflowering is a benign activity for shy people or individuals who enjoy listening in on conversations and engaging in harmless people watching; it is NOT stalking
Jason wasn't in much of a talkative mood so he was going to hit his buddy's party, do some wallflowering for about an hour, and then slip away quietly.
by Sexy Simian December 4, 2010
a scale from one to five (1-5) with five being the most severe, that describes the way someone will adjust their speaking and writing to sound more intelligent or experienced to impress someone they want to date; while intending to sound worldly, people employing a high convolution factor often come across as confusing or just plain idiots
When Linda said she didn't know anything about cars, Brian started speaking at about a convolution factory of 4 to impress her.
by Sexy Simian December 3, 2010