56 definition by Robert Lanham, Author of Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees, and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic

a boss who functions as the company cheerleader
A Sun-E-O will sometimes be heard saying "Wow, team, your hard work sure paid off."

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multitasking employees proficient at doing several things all at once
Splitscreens can watch C-SPAN streams, talk on the phone, listen to the radio, send instant messages, and read CNN online all at once.

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Seemingly polite and conventional people who intermittently make offensive, fleeting Tourette's-like statements to catch people off guard.
Flourettes enjoy peppering their conversation with unexpectedly rude comments to prove they aren't as tame as they seem.

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People who interview strangers at parties, weddings, and social events moments after meeting them.
Griffins reveal little about themselves but quickly propel a rapid fire of question to whomever is the subject of their attention.

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People who call friends and family regularly, but don't actually have anything to say.
A phone conversation with a telemute often consists of thirty minutes of you trying to come up with something to say.

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Beloved relatives whose sensibilities and lifestyles nonetheless confound others in the family.
A disclaimer often accompanies a Wesminster Dog Show Aunt, such as "We love Aunt Jenny, but she's a little different. In fact, that's why we love her."

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Passive-aggressive Jews who date non-Jews to avoid commitment.
When things get too serious, Antigentites simply break things off, insisting they can only commit to Jewish partners.

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