A kind of boner that even the straightest straight man gets when he sees amazingly handsome White Collar actor Matt Bomer.
Matt Bomer gives me a bomer.
I once briefly shook Matt Bomer's hand. I was later able to chop down a tree with my bomer.
The Republicans in Congress finally voted to legalize gay marriage when they saw a picture of Matt Bomer, and got bomers themselves. No, that's not true. They made gay marriage MANDATORY.
A little-known secret is that the Washington Monument is actually just a huge bomer. Yup, that's how much America loves Matt Bomer.
Frustrated with the progress of peace talks, President Obama showed the leaders of Palestine and Israel an episode of White Collar. The leaders then cried and embraced one another, and signed a peace treaty. It is physically impossible to fight when you have a bomer. Matt Bomer then receives the Nobel Peace Prize, but turns it down because he is so modest, thus giving everyone in the world another bomer.
You probably found this Jade while searching for your Jade, but you are wrong. This one is different. She is hotter. Taller. Sassier. And... lawyer-er?
Don't massage her too much; her skin is sensitive. But don't let her innocent looks fool you. She's hot and she knows it. Promoters will invite her to clubs to make it look like there are more hot girls there, and she'll drink whatever you buy her, and when you ask for her insta, she'll just bail and go see some other dude at a hookah lounge.
Protip: She doesn't like hookah though, so heads up guys don't take her to that on a first date!
Best ways to get her affection: write urbandictionary definition for her (too late bitches, I'm already doing it now), and help her find a cheap convenient gym (also too late, bitches!)
Also... she has nice legs. They make good seatbelts. But always follow local laws and/or customs regarding seatbelt use!
Hinge: "You matched with Jade!"
Jade: "Hahaha you're cute. For good eyebrow threading services, go find a Persian lady in Aliso Viejo"
Me: *swoon*
TV Commercial: "Jaded of normal boring girls? Call Jade now! Satisfaction guaranteed!"
For when you want to way squarer but it is so cold and your nipples so hard that you momentarily have an aneunyrsm and a pointless “i”
“All this time i was getting underwear that was shorter and shorter”
“But you needed underwear that was longer and squarier”
The layman's form of "dopey sauce(y) pants".
Despite how it sounds, it is actually an adjective, used to describe something you like or to give approval.
As a noun, dopey sauce refers to an incredibly rare substance made from Nancy extract mixed with ginger ale. It is known for its aphrodisiacal properties and adds 69,420 points to your sassiness. May cause stomach upset in some people, causing you to postpone IKEA dates.
"Hope your day was dopey sauce"
"Pass the dopey sauce, this burger is so bland!"
"Going on a date with Nancy, better inject myself with some dopey sauce"
"Damn, this dopey sauce is dopey sauce!" (technically this would be correct)
