49 definitions by Lârry Dângüs, esq.

29
Person A: I hate my new job with a passion. These drug tests are fucking intrusive and I can't smoke the herb anymore.


Person B: Well, at least you can still do some david lee roth on the weekends...that shit will be outta your system by Monday.

Person A: Fuck you, I hate cocaine.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. April 26, 2009
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30
The liquid contained by the urinary bladder of many terrestrial animals, also known as pee-pee, piss, whiz or number one. In mammals, this liquid is frequently pungent and colored some shade of yellow. Bladder juice can be recycled as a beverage in states of dire emergency, and also for the lulz.
Sometimes when I'm suffering from cotton mouth while taking a piss, I will direct the whiz stream up to my pie hole and take a few sips of my delicious bladder juice.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 17, 2014
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31
The act of explaining the meaning of the word meme to a person who does not understand it. Most people incorrectly believe that a meme is a picture with words added on top of it. This is actually an image macro. While some image macros are also memes, not all memes are image macros. The preceding three sentences are an example of memesplaining.
Hey, check out this meme I just made!

(sighs) Looks like I've got some memesplaining to do here....
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. October 25, 2016
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32
My mom can't make it to church today because they're showing a marathon of B.J. and the Bear reruns on tv. She's gonna be inside jackin' the box to Greg Evigan and his stupid monkey until she runs outta twat juice.

That crazy bitch needs to take herself some Xanaps. Have you ever heard of such fucktardation in your life? Oh excuse me...I just performed a manual release. Better hold yer breath, just in case this one is an anal apparition.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 27, 2009
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33
v. - The act of urination, specifically that of a buck-naked female. Also, an exclamation that one makes when walking in on a woman who is voiding her bladder while in a state of undress. This term is a direct result of Hustler Magazine having grossly over-milked their market interest in photographs which depict this act.
1. Dude, I went to use your bathroom a minute ago and your mom was sitting on the john totally nude! I yelled 'HUSTLER' and got the fuck outta there!

2. my alcoholic neighbor stripped off her swimsuit and drizzled a hustler all over my lawn last night. It's cool though, my garden could probably use the nitrogen. Plus we got some photos!
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. July 02, 2009
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34
v. - monkey vining is the act of transitioning from one relationship to another by retaining some form of connection to both people simultaneously. Only when the new relationship is reasonably solidified is the former one wholly released.

To grasp the metaphor of the monkey vine in its entirety, one may simply visualize the mode of transport utilized by Tarzan and his jungle primate colleagues in old movies. The vine that is being swung on is firmly held until another vine is being grasped, or at least is easily reachable.
person one:

Hey man, do you think Brad Pitt was monkey vining from Jennifer Aniston to Angelina Jolie?

person two:

Actually dude, I don't give a shit about what's happening in the love lives of these celebrities. 9/11 was an inside job, and fluoride is making Americans stupid. Maybe you should monkey vine your ass from US Weekly to some web sites that will enlighten your ass on things that are truly relevant to our lives!
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. June 10, 2008
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35
The practice of mixing odd flavors in the mouth simultaneously. Some examples of multitasting include eating a piece of citrus fruit too soon after brushing one's teeth, taking a hit off a beer while also chewing gum, or sucking on a breath mint while eating a wasabi-laden sushi roll.

While it is most often a manifestation of absent-mindedness, multitasting has also been deliberately practiced by people who 'just don't give a fuck.' These brave intentional multitasters have inspired humanity for generations innumerable. Kneel before Zod!
Did you see that chick? She just popped a piece of gum in her mouth, chewed it like three times, and then downed half a diet soda. And now...I think...yes!...she's back to chewing the gum! What is this fucktardation?

That's called multitasting, and it is rather odd. But did you know that both the chewing gum and the soda contain a chemical poison called aspartame, which should never have been approved by the FDA?

No, do tell!

Well, it just so happens that Aspartame was passed despite FDA scientists' disapproval by none other than douche nozzle extraordinaire, Donald Rumsfeld.

According to a G.D. Searle's salesperson, Patty WoodAllott, Donald Rumsfeld stated "he would call in all his markers and that no matter what, he would see to it that aspartame be approved this year."

An interview with consumer attorney Jim Turner revealed how Donald Rumsfeld "called in his markers" as part of Reagan's transition team in 1981. This is why G.D. Searle felt compelled to reapply for aspartame's approval one day after Reagan's inauguration.

This is despite rejection of aspartame over brain tumors.

What a bunch of sweethearts, huh? I wish asshats Rumsfeld and that stupid band 311 would all go die in a fire.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 22, 2010
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