49 definitions by Lârry Dângüs, esq.

An alternate word for aviator-style sunglasses with very dark or mirrored lenses.

While assholes are worn by people from all walks of life, these are the primary wearers: pigs, pretty much everyone in the movie Top Gun (chicks included), obese motorcyclists, rent-a-cops, yacht owners, hipsters, construction workers, and aging retirees who like to fish and drink watery American piss-beer.

Assholes may also worn by non-assholes for the ironic effect.

Activities which are routinely associated with the sale and use of crack cocaine. Cracktivities are normally characterized by the desperate style with which they are executed. Cracktivities often include (but are not limited to) such things as:

1. the sucking/jerking on/off of trouser trout for a relatively small amount of money.

2. the typical smash and grab.

3. being secretly filmed by the police while you pace around in a hotel room, smoking rocks with a hooker, à la Marion Barry.

4. anything Amy Winehouse participates in while she is not in rehab.

5. anything the ODB participated in prior to his death (which was, of course, due to cracktivities).

6. most undertakings which occur within the confines or close proximity of a sketch pad.

The mark and/or odor that is left on an object after a nude menstruating woman has seated herself upon it.

Regular twat stamps are inherently all but invisible, but they may be easily detected by a person or animal with a keen sense of smell.

By contrast, crimson twat stamps are more distinctive, by both sight and odor.

see also: murder scene

This term refers to a baby-sized penis which is located on the crotch of a full-grown man.

Most of the major military conflicts in recorded history can probably be blamed on the occurrence of the crotch nipple. There are many crotch nipples in the world, and they are all due to mindless cruelty on the part of God, who does not actually exist.

This term was first coined by hecKtor Dangus in 1991 upon his first viewing of a videotaped performance by GG Allin, for reasons which are readily apparent to anyone who has ever seen GG in the nude.

When a person who is supposed to be following the keto diet cheats and goes over their daily carb/sugar limit, their metabolic state goes from ketosis to cheatosis. Go take a dildo shit, motherfucker.

This term refers to the part of one's bowel movement that has been transformed inside the guts from cheese into a harder-than-usual portion of doo-doo. One might be in the ecstatic throes of a smooth dookie session, only to have the brown train interrupted by a cheese plug. One antidote to the cheese plug is binge drinking.

This term describes the 'all-the-way-forward' handlebar position most commonly seen on BMX bikes in urban areas of the United States.

Rather than having the handlebars in a vertical position (as the more practical BMX riders tend to do), the individual who chooses the 'chicago' position instead prefers to lay his or her handlebars all the way forward in an attempt to do any or all of the following things:

1. Allow more knee room on a bike which is far too short for them, possibly because they are a 7-foot tall, 52 year old alcoholic who is riding their grandchild's Wal-Mart bike to the beer store at dawn on a Monday

2. Look 'cool' on an overly small bicycle, which is near-impossible, especially when the rider is visibly frustrated by this situation, and having apparent difficulty controlling said bike.

3. Create the illusion of having a 'low rider' bike, but without making any actual low rider modifications.

All chicago bars ever did was make BMX bikes harder to ride, and cause an untold number of unnecessary faceplants in the ghetto, and under certain circumstances, they may even alert the police to possible cracktivities in the area, due to the obvious fucktardation on the part of these clueless bike riders.