53 definitions by Lârry Dângüs, esq.
A synonym for the interwebs, especially when used to seek very specific information for the purpose of settling an argument, wager, or simply to satisfy the randomly curious mind.
The Oracle is rarely consulted within the confines of a sketch pad, such as a crack house.
The Oracle is rarely consulted within the confines of a sketch pad, such as a crack house.
person a: 'When did George W. Bush get busted for cocaine possession?'
person b: 'I don't know - let's ask The Oracle!'
person b: 'I don't know - let's ask The Oracle!'
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. September 9, 2008
This term refers to a gratuitous back-handed pop in the testicles, as delivered by Ashley Schaeffer to Kenny Powers in the HBO series Eastbound and Down.
It is ordinarily considered bad form to give an ashley schaeffer under most circumstances, however, this rule tends to loosen when excessive amounts of alcohol are added to the equation. It is often hypothesized that male drinking buddies who regularly execute the ashley schaeffer may suffer from unrequited homosexual desires. Either that, or they just have a really sadistic sense of humor. Either way, the ashley schaeffer is rarely funny to the recipient.
It is ordinarily considered bad form to give an ashley schaeffer under most circumstances, however, this rule tends to loosen when excessive amounts of alcohol are added to the equation. It is often hypothesized that male drinking buddies who regularly execute the ashley schaeffer may suffer from unrequited homosexual desires. Either that, or they just have a really sadistic sense of humor. Either way, the ashley schaeffer is rarely funny to the recipient.
The church pastor failed to see the humor in my quick and ruthless delivery of an ashley schaeffer to his holy ballsack. Maybe I should have waited until the sermon was over.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. July 23, 2009
The lesbian daughter of former US vice president Dick Cheney. Mary Cheney and her life partner, Heather Poe, have two children, Dr. Quinn and Medicine Woman, both of whom are the result of a lesbian miracle. Ms. Cheney revealed in a recent interview that her children's names were inspired by a line of dialogue spoken by fictional race car driver Ricky Bobby in Ms. Cheney's favorite film, Talladega Nights.
Noted gay columnist Dan Savage has publicly referred to Ms. Cheney as a "useless dyke" due to her active involvement with the Bush Administration and the half-assed stand she has taken for gay rights. Mary Cheney responded to Savage's remark with a thinly-veiled threat to have her dark lord father send him to Guantanamo Bay, presumably to be tortured and held indefinitely without charges, as is customary in the post-9/11 police state formerly known as the United States of America.
Noted gay columnist Dan Savage has publicly referred to Ms. Cheney as a "useless dyke" due to her active involvement with the Bush Administration and the half-assed stand she has taken for gay rights. Mary Cheney responded to Savage's remark with a thinly-veiled threat to have her dark lord father send him to Guantanamo Bay, presumably to be tortured and held indefinitely without charges, as is customary in the post-9/11 police state formerly known as the United States of America.
Mary Cheney was the director of vice presidential operations for the Bush-Cheney 2004 Presidential re-election campaign, which is rather ironic considering the fact that the Bush Administration's official policy on gays and lesbians is that they "should all shut the hell up and stop being all gay and stuff"*.
*quote by former Attorney General John Ashcroft, 2004
*quote by former Attorney General John Ashcroft, 2004
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. January 3, 2012
My mom can't make it to church today because they're showing a marathon of B.J. and the Bear reruns on tv. She's gonna be inside jackin' the box to Greg Evigan and his stupid monkey until she runs outta twat juice.
That crazy bitch needs to take herself some Xanaps. Have you ever heard of such fucktardation in your life? Oh excuse me...I just performed a manual release. Better hold yer breath, just in case this one is an anal apparition.
That crazy bitch needs to take herself some Xanaps. Have you ever heard of such fucktardation in your life? Oh excuse me...I just performed a manual release. Better hold yer breath, just in case this one is an anal apparition.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 28, 2009
The quantity of a mind-altering substance which does not impair the user's ability to functionally converse. This dosage can a be highly (no pun intended) subjective, depending not only upon the substance and the user, but also the peripheral circumstances.
When David Hasselhoff's cheeseburger starts falling apart, that's a sure sign that Mr. Hasselhoff has surpassed his social dose of alcohol for the evening.
You might THINK you're on a social dose of david lee roth, but you are acting like an overbearing coked-up bastard.
The girls didn't know much about mixing alcohol with pills, so their 'social dose' of Xanax and Smirnoff Ice led to blackouts and xanaps.
You might THINK you're on a social dose of david lee roth, but you are acting like an overbearing coked-up bastard.
The girls didn't know much about mixing alcohol with pills, so their 'social dose' of Xanax and Smirnoff Ice led to blackouts and xanaps.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 27, 2010
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. August 28, 2013
When a person who is supposed to be following the keto diet cheats and goes over their daily carb/sugar limit, their metabolic state goes from ketosis to cheatosis. Go take a dildo shit, motherfucker.
What's with the donuts, Bob? I thought you were on the keto diet.
Bob: Yeah well, now it's a cheato diet.
Bob: Yeah well, now it's a cheato diet.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. February 23, 2019