12 definition by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle

A type of constipation, the medical condition which results when Nogtard gorges himself on Sargent's apple pies and Hill biscuits. The obese Nogster loves all shitty biscuits and pies and has been known to feast on them for 6 hours at a stretch. The nogstipation can last up to a week. When it comes to an end and the fat retard eventually manages a dump the result can be explosive, not even the toughest porcelain being able to contain a mighty nogdump. Nogtard's legendary dumping exploits result in him getting through an average of 12 bogs per year. Roughly once a month the broken bogs are left in his front garden ready for removal to the nearest Maltby lorry.

An old man with 2 walking sticks who is such a genius he can walk at a 90 degree angle. He leaves his home once a day to display his unique talent to the envious world under the pretext of going to post a letter.

The vehicle of the Porky Scotcher's mother which the important security guard takes her out in. This chair has appeared in comedy photographs taken by Monkus and Mickus.

The token midget at every Asda store. They are employed not only to pacify the Equal Opportunities brigade but also because they're really good at getting tins that have rolled under the shelves.

An appliance used by fat security guards for keeping all the food responsible for maintaining their waistline above 50 inches. To anyone else who has access to it its a repository for steaming piles of shit.