23 definitions by Jack Bozdog
by Jack Bozdog December 09, 2006
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by Jack Bozdog August 03, 2006
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One long, continuous turd purposefully left in the toilet by its former owner as a "trophy shit".
It spirals around the inside of the bowl, showing those who enter the John Q. Public afterwards just how supremely talented, artistic, and considerate, its manufacturer is.
It spirals around the inside of the bowl, showing those who enter the John Q. Public afterwards just how supremely talented, artistic, and considerate, its manufacturer is.
KAREN: Wow, that was fast!
WILLY: Yeah, well, I didn't use the John, because there was a coiled snake in one stall ...
KAREN: A coiled snake! Oh my God! Did you tell the manager?
WILLY: No, honey, someone left a big, huge, turd in the John. It stunk like Hell, and I wanted to flush it, but it was laying on top of a gigantic TP plug. And the other toilet had john cummings on the seat.
KAREN: Whose that?
WILLY: You know (doing a "jerk off" motion) like "dick cummings" or "peter cummings" but on the john.
KAREN: Oh.
WILLY: On the way back, I'm checking out the gas station across the street, maybe they take better care of their John Q. Public!
KAREN: I get it! You mean CUSTOMERS, right?
WILLY: Yeah, well, I didn't use the John, because there was a coiled snake in one stall ...
KAREN: A coiled snake! Oh my God! Did you tell the manager?
WILLY: No, honey, someone left a big, huge, turd in the John. It stunk like Hell, and I wanted to flush it, but it was laying on top of a gigantic TP plug. And the other toilet had john cummings on the seat.
KAREN: Whose that?
WILLY: You know (doing a "jerk off" motion) like "dick cummings" or "peter cummings" but on the john.
KAREN: Oh.
WILLY: On the way back, I'm checking out the gas station across the street, maybe they take better care of their John Q. Public!
KAREN: I get it! You mean CUSTOMERS, right?
by Jack Bozdog June 24, 2006
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Supposed to be the same as "ketchup', ie, a condiment made from tomatoes. Hello! Is anyone in there? Wake up! It's Cat soup! It says so, in fricanese, right on the label!
AT FELINE ADOPTION CENTER:
SAD GIRL: "I am so sad, I need to get rid of my cat because I am moving into an apartment where no pets are allowed."
ATTENDANT: "Everything will be fine. We'll find a nice home for her."
SAD GIRL LEAVES.
ATTENDANT: "The bitch left, here's another cat for the giant CATSUP (cat soup) blender!"
SAD GIRL: "I am so sad, I need to get rid of my cat because I am moving into an apartment where no pets are allowed."
ATTENDANT: "Everything will be fine. We'll find a nice home for her."
SAD GIRL LEAVES.
ATTENDANT: "The bitch left, here's another cat for the giant CATSUP (cat soup) blender!"
by Jack Bozdog July 01, 2006
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SCOTTY EVIL: Dad, why does Fat Bastard have warpaint on his face and an 888 on his forehead?
DR. EVIL: Scotty, I assume yoh have heard of the significance of the number 666?
SCOTTY: Yeah, duh, 666 is the Mark of the Beast!
DR. EVIL: Riiight. And 888 is the Mark of the Feast. Fat Bastard is getting ready to go to Old Country Buffet.
SCOTTY: Oh, I get it.
DR. EVIL: Scotty, I assume yoh have heard of the significance of the number 666?
SCOTTY: Yeah, duh, 666 is the Mark of the Beast!
DR. EVIL: Riiight. And 888 is the Mark of the Feast. Fat Bastard is getting ready to go to Old Country Buffet.
SCOTTY: Oh, I get it.
888 = ate, ate, ate!
by Jack Bozdog June 07, 2006
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Code for "period" or "period, misery". "Beaver Dam" = "tampon", "Maxi-pad", etc., and "Missouri" is code for "misery".
TOM: "Hey, Eric, how about you and Laurra coming over for dinner tonight?"
ERIC: "No, Laurra's in Beaver Dam, Missouri right now."
TOM: "Oh, okay, I get ya."
ERIC: "No, Laurra's in Beaver Dam, Missouri right now."
TOM: "Oh, okay, I get ya."
by Jack Bozdog September 06, 2006
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"Ready when you are,
And even you're not,
that's Betty Crocker ready to spread {for} frosting".
A 1970's TV jingle for
Betty Crocker Ready-To-Spread Frosting.
The word {for} was added.
And even you're not,
that's Betty Crocker ready to spread {for} frosting".
A 1970's TV jingle for
Betty Crocker Ready-To-Spread Frosting.
The word {for} was added.
by Jack Bozdog June 24, 2006
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