Once upon a time Uma Thurman jumped off a building into a pile of goo which was left behind when Mr. McDonald and his army of angry woodland creatures swept up her mama and the ex-Circle, defined to make people feel bad. Chickens will kill the mutant ninja turtles and everyone will grow dreadlocks and yell, " I WANT THE T-SHIRT "!
Guy: Hello Charlene.
Charlene: GO DIE IN A JUMBLED JIGSAW LOBSTERS SOUP AND PIE FROM STOMANGA NANGA
Where all your shit goes.
Evan C lives in the sewer.
The coolest things last year that me and my friend loved and made an email address out of and included as the motto to all the chatrooms we would do in Mr. Bentley's class (who just retired, by the way), and she would tell me some stupid lie about liking Kevin Braiden and stuff, and I wouldn't believe her, and then some guy who happened to be extremely tall and is having fights over shoe sizes with a blonde person right now in our class would steal it and read it and believe it and then we's have to spend days telling him it wasn't true, but by that time, the whole school knew. Sombrero dudes are the essence of cool.
Me: Friend, who do you like?
Friend: Well...I like Kevin Braiden.
Me: HA! Yah right!
Tall guy: Haha! I have your chatroom! I'm going to read it!
Friend: No! Let go of it!
Tall guy: YOU like KEVIN BRAIDEN?! BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NOW I HAVE TO TELL EVERYBODY!!!!
Friend: NO! IT ISN'T TRUE!
A cool juice that is crunk, owned by Lil Jon.
J: Yeeeeeeah homie yall wan some Crunk! Juice????!!!! Deeeamn
a weird movie in which a lady who is actually a guy, cough, is a boxer and wins a golden globe and possibly an oscar. Actually, the winning the oscar thing isn't in the movie, and neither is the golden globe. but that happens in real life, and then the lady gives a big speech on how amazing clint eastwood is when really she should be thanking other people too, but no, she decided just to thank stupid clint, and because of that, it became painful.
Hilary Swank: Oh gosh thanks for this golden globe yes. well clint eastwood you rock you are the best yes you are yes you are goochy goochy goo. yeah i couldn't have done it without clint. clint you are wonderful and you are talented and you directed AND acted in this and for that you need more thanks. thank you clint thank you clint. One more time! everyone together! CLINT YOU ROCK!
Hilary Swank: One more time! CLINT YOU ROCK!
HS: Oh, come on, you did it for Jamie Foxx!!
HS: OK, well since you won't do that, I guess I'll just have to thank clint some more!
*they hurl themselves onto the stage and HS manages to beat them to the ground*
My friend who sits diagonally in front of me. Clairvoyance is not her real name, but she, for some reason, decided that it would be her name from now on, though that decision was made while she was on a lot of sugar, so I don't know if it was the best decision. It was, however, hilarious at the time. She talks in 3rd person when she turns from her real name to Clairvoyance.
Clairvoyance: Clairvoyance wants CANDAY!!!!!!