5 definitions by Eddie Faulkner

Slang (Geordie, Newcastle)

Masturbation: The phrase comes from the act of masturbating using the whole hand, wrapping 4 fingers round the shaft of the penis, and the thumb round the other side, hence "five knuckles".
Geordie 1: Howaye man. Did ye score last night?
Geordie 2: Ney chance. I was gannin' the Five knuckle shuffle till it felt like me hand'd fall off.
by Eddie Faulkner May 22, 2008
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Slang: (Aust.)
The act of being so thoroughly drunk that you piss yourself at the bar with your legs apart, while holding onto the handrail along the side.

Aussie 1: "Jeez mate, you look rough. Hard night?"
Aussie 2: "Too bloody right. I got so steamed last night I went waterskiing at the bar!"
Aussie 1: "Strewth! I bet that was a relief..."
by Eddie Faulkner March 17, 2008
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Trad. Slang: Brit. Royal Navy,

A Full Monty is the act of requiring anyone onboard ship who grows a beard or moustache to grow the opposite partner or shave it all off.

If you have a beard, you must grow a moustache to go with it; the opposite applies - if you have a moustache, you must grow a beard.

The act of having the Beard and Moustache together is known as "having the Full Monty".
Crewman 1: "Look at the Face lace on that bloke!"
Crewman 2: "At least He's got the Full Monty."
by Eddie Faulkner March 19, 2008
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Slang (Mild. Obsc.) Aust. - To be extremely, totally, and so overbearingly drunk that you have not got a clue what the hell you are doing, where you are, or more importantly, WHO you are...

Pissed, Rat-arsed, Drunk, Pickled, Soused.

Popularised by Australian comedian Kevin "Bloody" Wilson.
Kevin; "My God! I was so drunk that night..."
Audience Member; "How drunk?"
Kevin; "Mate, I was as full as a Bishop's ballbag! I was so f*cking drunk, I was Waterskiing at the bar!"
by Eddie Faulkner March 17, 2008
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Slang: Someone who enjoys the act of slowing their vehicle to like 15 miles an hour on a motorway just so they can gawk at the wreckage of a van on its roof or a car on fire.

These people are a severe pain in the arse to emergency services, and they often cause tailbacks up to several miles.
I got held up on the M25 last night going home cause of some rubbernecker staring at a crash.
by Eddie Faulkner May 24, 2008
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