26 definitions by Bloodthirsty Vampire

Comes in all colors and is super shiny. A girl's best friend.
by Bloodthirsty Vampire December 5, 2017
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The sexiest vampire to ever exist. He would do anything for his friends (even kill for them by strangling or drinking the blood of his foes). Barnabas is the kind of guy who will help you if you have a problem. If you get on his bad side, he will show you no mercy. Barnabas spends his days sleeping in a coffin, and his nights drinking blood or helping those he cares about. If he was real, he'd be 257 years old, as he was born in 1763, and became a vampire at age 32 in 1795.
Yeah, I'd be a really lucky lady to meet a man who looks and acts like Barnabas Collins.😍
by Bloodthirsty Vampire December 15, 2020
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The birthday of Jesus. A day of giving, forgiving, feasts, delicious food, enjoying sparkling juice, and spending time with the people you care about.
Me: Yo wassup Melanie?
Mel: Nun much, just enjoying Christmas.
by Bloodthirsty Vampire November 29, 2017
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A rich girl who wears designer outfits and fucks all the boys on every sports team at the school, fucking a different one every night. She usually bullies girls like me because I'm pale and dress in black most of the time. She's minipulitive, spoiled, mean, rude, and a terrible excuse for a human being. She's generally the main cause for female suicide, drug abuse, or alcohol addiction at her school. I'm lucky nobody at my school is like this. She also spreads lies about people she doesn't like, wears TOO MUCH makeup, gets plastic surgery/ Botox done every week to keep herself looking like a living Barbie while the rest of the girls look real, and she'll also bleach her hair and go to the tanning salon.
Me: (minding my own business)
Bitch: OMG, look at her, total fashion failure!
Me: (wearing more clothes than her) Have you looked in the mirror lately, because you look like a Cheeto with hardly any clothes on.
Bitch: You're wearing all that because you're fat.
Me: I'll have you know that I'm actually very slim and can kick your fucking bitch ass into next week you whore!
Bitch: HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT! (slaps me)
Me: (stands up from sitting on the bench, punches her plastic surgened nose, breaking it, then kicks her chest, popping one of the breast implants)
Bitch: (attempts to punch me, tears streaming down her face, blood oozing from fake nose)
Me: (grabs fist, puts her in straight arm bar and breaks arm)
Bitch: ( screams in pain)
then the principle calls our parents, her parents file lawsuit, my parents praise me for self defense then proceed to win lawsuit.
by Bloodthirsty Vampire April 27, 2018
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A fucking delicious mocktail that you should try!

Ingredients:

1 can Monster Zero Sugar (the red or white can)
1/2 cup Daily's Strawberry Mix (alcohol free)
A few squirts of liquid fruit punch or cherry drink mix

Directions:

Put ingredients into a cup or a bottle with a lid, then shake. Pour over ice in a glass, then garnish with a cocktail umbrella and fruit of your choice if you wanna get fancy. Add a couple shots of cherry or strawberry vodka for a Drunk Bleeding Lili if desired.

WARNING:

DO NOT DRINK IF YOU'RE PREGNANT, BREASTFEEDING, OR CAFFEINE SENSITIVE! NOT RECOMMENDED FOR YOUNG CHILDREN. CONSUMING TOO MUCH CAN CAUSE HEART PROBLEMS. DRINK RESPONSIBLY!
Damn, it was a long day at work! Since I'm not old enough to drink, I'll make a Bleeding Lili, and drink that while I eat a cheese steak sandwich from Boxwood Café.
by Bloodthirsty Vampire September 14, 2021
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