Frank Rider's definitions

Chee-Who-A-Who-A

A way of pronouncing Chihuahua, reserved for the Chihuahuas owned by fat people, body builders, and gay men.

"Looky there at the Chee-Who-A-Who-A and it's owner...

...I've never seen a person waddle so much like a penguin."

...I've never seen such a big guy and a small dog."

...I've never seen such a bright shirt in public before."

by Frank Rider August 22, 2009

Closing Time

Closing Time was Tom Waits' debut album, from 1973. It held twelve beautiful tracks, and lasted a great forty-five minutes. Some highlights from the album are Ol' 55, Ice Cream Man, and Grapefruit Moon. The music relies heavily on Waits' exceptional piano-playing skills, and his vocals.

An excerpt from Closing Time's ninth track-
Ice Cream Man

Clickin' by your house about two forty-five
With a sidewalk Sundae Strawberry Surprise,
I got a cherry popsicle right on time
A big stick, mamma, that'll blow your mind

'Cause I'm your ice cream man,
I'm a one-man band (yeah)
I'm your ice cream man, honny,
I'll be good to you.

by Frank Rider August 22, 2009

Every Bit Of Alic

Every Bit Of Alice is a generic term for a man's dream woman. Beautiful, smart, tolerant, quiet, great in bed, great cook, great mother, faithful, ETC.

"What do you look for in a woman, John?"

"I want Every Bit Of Alice!"

by Frank Rider August 22, 2009

Bone Machine

This 1992 album was Tom Waits' darkest release yet. Full of dark "cyber drama" and vicious guitar strings, he had totally dropped his piano onto the city sidewalk. Here we find Goin' Out West, Murder In The Red Barn, and the delicate suicide story, The Ocean Doesn't Want Me. Waits' voice sounds stepped on and burned out, but the songs are more amazing than ever because of it.

An excerpt from Bone Machine's-
Black Wings

Well they've stopped trying to hold him
With mortar, stone and chain
He broke out of every prison
Well the boots mount the staircase
The door is flung back open
He's not there for he has risen
He's not there for he has risen
Well he once killed a man with a guitar string
He's been seen at the table with kings
Well, he once saved a baby from drowning
There are those who say beneath his coat there are wings

by Frank Rider August 23, 2009

Heartattack And Vine

Tom Waits' sixth album, from 1980, had nine tracks and lasted for forty-five glorious minutes. As soon as it starts playing you get a smooth blast of drum, and a jagged slice of guitar. Half of the album's songs are jumpy and dangerous, while the other half are slow and beautiful. Some high points are Jersey Girl - a love song, and 'Til The Money Runs Out, a loud-mouth fighting song.

An excerpt from Heartattack and Vine's-
Mr. Siegal

I shot the morning in the back
With m' red wings on
I told the sun he'd better go back down
And if I can find a book of matches
I'm goin' to burn this hotel down
You got to tell me brave captain
Why are the wicked so strong
How do the angels get to sleep
When the devil leaves the porch-light on

by Frank Rider August 23, 2009

Pehdtsckjmba

1. A meandering course, seemingly devoid of reason, but based upon a logical idea.

2. A term invented by Tom Waits for his 2008 tour press conference video. It began as an acronym for the cities on his U.S. tour list, and became the 'guiding word' of the tour.

We'll be taking a pehdtsckjmba across the country this summer, and we'll be zig-zagging coast to coast.

by Frank Rider December 6, 2009

Filipino Box Spring Hog

1. The fourteenth song on Tom Waits' 1999 album, Mule Variations.

2. A term for any strange or disgusting new food. If you can't figure out a food's name or ingredients, you may call it this.

Rattle snake piccata with grapes and figs
Old brown Betty with a yellow wig
Tain't the mince meat filagree
And it ain't the turkey neck stew
And it ain't them bruleed okra seeds
Though she made them especially for you
Worse won a prize for her bottom black pie
The beans got thrown to the dogs
Jaheseus Christ, I can always make room
Cookin' up a Filipino Box Spring Hog

by Frank Rider August 22, 2009