Frank Rider's definitions

Swordfishtrombones

Album number seven from artist-in-the-shadows, Tom Waits. Released in 1983, it was a forty minute, thirteen track, carnival mad house of wicked instrumentals and monologues. The album's title track is a story of a demented soldier returning home, hell bent on giving a show. The second track, Shore Leave, is a squeaky love ballad from a sailor to the land and his girl.

An excerpt from Swordfishtrombones'
Gin Soaked Boy

I got a belly full of you and that Leavenworth stuff
Now I'm gonna get out and I'm gonna get tough
You been lying to me, how could you crawl so low
With some gin-soaked boy that you don't know

I come home last night full a filth of Old Crow
You said you going to your ma's but where the hell did you go?
You went and slipped out nights, you didn't think that I'd know
With some gin-soaked boy that you don't know

by Frank Rider August 23, 2009

Every Bit Of Alic

Every Bit Of Alice is a generic term for a man's dream woman. Beautiful, smart, tolerant, quiet, great in bed, great cook, great mother, faithful, ETC.

"What do you look for in a woman, John?"

"I want Every Bit Of Alice!"

by Frank Rider August 22, 2009

Alice

From 2002, this is Tom Waits' fourteenth album, simultaneously released with Blood Money. For a third time, Waits made a studio version of the music that he used in a play, this is the second part of a trilogy involving The Black Rider. Waits' album is absolutely beautiful, but quite scary. Alice, the title track, is a song of obsession and love that pulls you into it's murky waters and holds you under. Table Top Joe is a great song, very full of life, and it reminds one of Straight Up To the Top. Reeperbahn is a sandpaper song with stories of various people, and their tragedies.

An excerpt from Alice's-
Reeperbahn

Now if you've lost your inheritance
And all you're left is common sense
And you're not too picky about the crowd you keep
Or the mattress where you sleep
Behind every window, behind every door
The apple's gone but there's always the core
The seeds will sprout up right through the floor
Down there in the Reeperbahn

by Frank Rider August 23, 2009

Mule Variations

This album was Tom Waits' 1999 release, and his thirteenth. The songs range from Big in Japan, a smooth but tough rock song, to Come On Up To the House, a powerful telling of a world's troubles. Waits did good again, striking a strange chord with Chocolate Jesus, and tugging your thought strings with Black Market Baby.

An excerpt from Mule Variations'-
Get Behind the Mule

Punctuated birds on the power line
In a Studebaker with the Birdie Joe Joaks
I'm diggin' all the way to China
With a silver spoon
While the hangman fumbles with the noose, boy
The hangman fumbles with the noose
Got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow

by Frank Rider August 23, 2009

Closing Time

Closing Time was Tom Waits' debut album, from 1973. It held twelve beautiful tracks, and lasted a great forty-five minutes. Some highlights from the album are Ol' 55, Ice Cream Man, and Grapefruit Moon. The music relies heavily on Waits' exceptional piano-playing skills, and his vocals.

An excerpt from Closing Time's ninth track-
Ice Cream Man

Clickin' by your house about two forty-five
With a sidewalk Sundae Strawberry Surprise,
I got a cherry popsicle right on time
A big stick, mamma, that'll blow your mind

'Cause I'm your ice cream man,
I'm a one-man band (yeah)
I'm your ice cream man, honny,
I'll be good to you.

by Frank Rider August 22, 2009

Chee-Who-A-Who-A

A way of pronouncing Chihuahua, reserved for the Chihuahuas owned by fat people, body builders, and gay men.

"Looky there at the Chee-Who-A-Who-A and it's owner...

...I've never seen a person waddle so much like a penguin."

...I've never seen such a big guy and a small dog."

...I've never seen such a bright shirt in public before."

by Frank Rider August 22, 2009

Filipino Box Spring Hog

1. The fourteenth song on Tom Waits' 1999 album, Mule Variations.

2. A term for any strange or disgusting new food. If you can't figure out a food's name or ingredients, you may call it this.

Rattle snake piccata with grapes and figs
Old brown Betty with a yellow wig
Tain't the mince meat filagree
And it ain't the turkey neck stew
And it ain't them bruleed okra seeds
Though she made them especially for you
Worse won a prize for her bottom black pie
The beans got thrown to the dogs
Jaheseus Christ, I can always make room
Cookin' up a Filipino Box Spring Hog

by Frank Rider August 22, 2009