First President of the United States of America
. Led the Continental Army to victory over the British and all those damn mercenaries they hired. Also known as the 'Dollar bill guy'.
George Washington never did chop down a cherry tree, and this rumor was believed to be started by some school teacher with the knowledge of Mr. Garrison
. He did, however, sleep everywhere, and it is unlikely that he just slept, since the chicks were getting a little bored with 'bundling
Geo. Washington: Yeah? Whadda' you want?
Boy: Are you Mr. Washington? George Washington?
Geo. Washington: Is this another one of you damn kids looking for a meal ticket?
Boy: But my mom says....
Geo. Washington: Look kid... I get a lot of this. The phone's ringing day and night, which is creepy since we've got another 100 years before its invention. But never mind that. Who's your mother, anyway?
Boy: Betsy Churchbottomfeeder.
Geo. Washington: Okay! I did spend the night at her house, but slept alone. Tell your mother to call an attorney. She ain't gettin' shit.
Boy: Oh, woe is me! A bastard
once again! Boo-hoo, boo-hoo.
Geo. Washington: Lemme give you Jefferson's number. He falls for this shit all the time.
Boy: Thanks, bro!