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Thesaurus for douche monkey

Synonyms, antonyms, and related words for douche monkey

a word to describe an individual who has shown themself to be very brainless in one way or another, thus comparing them to the cleansing product for vaginas.
you're such a douche... i wish i knew your existence was this pathetic when i started hanging out with u.
by seraphina October 05, 2003
Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker. Not to be confuzed with douche.
Rob:He kept hitting on my girlfriend at the party, he just wouldnt leave her alone!!
Sam: God, what a douchebag.
by NoMerci366 February 19, 2005
A small, elite group of douche bags, who are at the top of their douche game among their douche monkey brethren. They are the supreme douches of all douche masters, and none can douche as they do -err- douche.

Many douchemeisters believe they inherently belong to the Douchoise. This, however, is complete fallacy. One must prove his douchebaggery to be in exponential excess of your standard douche pack peon in order to even be considered for a rare spot in this sacred and privileged brotherhood. Not just any run of the mill douche monger can join; one must be invited and initiated in the most extreme doucheloaf fashion.

You see, members of the Douchoise (yes, it's capitalized, douche pumper!) are the cream of the crop, the best of the best, and the absolute most douche-esque of all that is douchery.
Damn! That guy is far beyond dickville... he's a member of the effin douchoise!
by Supreme Douchoise Chancellor July 16, 2007
The most disgusting variation of "dousche bag". It's a person that is rude, fat, smells bad, stupid, and for some reason is as arrogant as hell and ruins the day of any person that comes within a few feet of them whether it's their rudeness or horrible body odor.
That ass clown is just a huge pile of douche haggis.
by Gen. Pringle September 06, 2010
a worthless stupid head,. an incompitant shmo,. a jackass,. retard,. a doof
ERIC GRACY is the biggest jachshmo. That jackshmo loves to suck off cory walker.
by greg watters January 09, 2008
ignoramus, idiot, stupidhead
you ugly son of a shmo
by imanidiot April 24, 2003
(_!_) = Normal Ass
(__!__) = Big Ass
(!) = Tight Ass
(_?_) = Dumb Ass
(_E=MC2_) = Smart Ass
(_$_) = Rich Ass
(_x_) = Kiss My Ass
(_X_) = Get Off My Ass
by Assholes Inc. August 30, 2003
A very smart invention to decrease the population and sti's
1)no glove no love
2)don't be silly wrap you willy
3)don't be a fool wrap your tool
4)don't be a ding-dong cover you shling- shlong
5)dont be a wenis protect you penis
6)dont share your sperm over your worm
7)before you spank her cover your wanker
8)If theres gunna be affection cover your erection
9)if your gunna banger cover your wanger
10) There only a buck get one before you fuck
11) Dont be stupid wear a fuckin condom
by anon June 26, 2004
1. any animal; 2. a cute, small furry animal; 3. a domestic pet; 4. nickname for a little kid; 5. nickname for a female
1. As we sat quietly, the critters became less shy about approaching our campsite. 5. She's a cute little critter.
by Maximally June 11, 2005
The greatest word of all time, simple yet pleasing in its onomatopoeic beauty. For one to commit douchebaggery, he/she is not limited to but may include some or perhaps all of the following behaviors:

- the wearing of flat-billed baseball caps backwards
- using an enormous amount of gel to spike the hair porcupine style
- wearing polo shirts or any other type of shirt with the collar popped, a disgusting gesture that should've died in the 1980s with parachute pants
- the sideways peace sign gesture
- overdone pursing of the lips
- too many visits to the tanning salon
- pointing at oneself, holding up beer cans, or making other obscenely immature gestures in solo or group photos
- following trends for the sake of fitting in (see "goatee")
- adding "The" or the suffix "-ster" to one's name, as in "The Rickster"

See Guido or perhaps frat boy for more. Essentially, "douchebaggery" is one of those things as easily understood by definition as it is by one's demonstrations of it.
At least guys with mullets can cut their hair, but there seems to be no cure for the douchebaggery exhibited by frat boys overcompensating for their small members.
by wheezer04041966 April 13, 2008