You would be a redneck if:
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
Your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.
You move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.
You mow your lawn and find a car.
You can spit without opening your mouth.
Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.
You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
Taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
You take a fishing pole to Sea World.
The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.
You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.
You've ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.
Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
You think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic sport.
The receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.
More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
Your home has more miles on it than your car.
Your Christmas tree is still up in February.
You've ever been arrested for loitering.
You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.
There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.
You've ever shot anyone for looking at you.
You own a homemade fur coat.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
Hey, it's the truth.
Missy Elliot - Crazy in Love:
"Got em lookin so cray rite now, crazy rite, now make ya go down south"
A rebel is a person who stands up for their own personal opinions despite what anyone else says. A true rebel stands up for what they believe is right, not against what's right. It's not about smoking crack, drinking till you're rendered unconsious, or beating the crap out of anyone that crosses your path. It's all about being an individual and refusing to follow a crowd that forces you to think the same way they do even if it means becoming an outcast to society. True rebels know who they are and do not compromise their individuality or personal opinion for anyone. They're straightforward and honest and they will sure as hell tell it like it is.
Erin was a rebel; she stood up to those who were fake or harassed others for being different.
A person who loves the constitution more than the Union.
"I love the Union and the Constitution, but I would rather
leave the Union with the Constitution than remain in the Union without it.''
Often used as an insult and racial slur against White folks who live in the country. A hillbilly is a person who lives in a remote, rural area in the South, often in the Appalachian (Or sometimes Ozark) Mountains and therefore is isolated and somewhat out of touch with modern culture.
The stereotype of a hillbilly is a person who: Is a White Southerner who owns a shotgun, goes barefoot, wears a worn out floppy hat, drinks moonshine and whiskey which he makes himself, plays the banjo or fiddle, drives old beat up pick up trucks, has bad teeth, is poorly educated, has long a beard, wears worn out clothes and hand me downs, and is happy and content with what they have.
Just because someone is a hillbilly doesn't mean that they fit the hillbilly stereotype listed above.
Contrary to some of the other entries, hillbillies don’t live in trailer parks; they can’t otherwise they wouldn’t be isolated from modern culture and therefore would not be a hillbilly. They don’t eat road kill; many are actually farmers and hunt for their food, they don’t pick it off the side of the road. Also, hillbillies don’t go around sodomizing people, that is a fictional movie Deliverance which has contributed too many of the negative stereotypes.
A Redneck lives in trailer park and goes on the Jerry Springer show; a Hillbilly lives in a shack or cabin out in the middle of nowhere and doesn’t even have a TV.
If you ever see someone fly this flag it means that that that person is a redneck and that that person is proud of their southern heritage. It does not, however, mean that that person is a racist.
My cousin flys the rebel flag.
An adjective used to describe something that is awesome, sweet, cool, amazing, etc.
X: "How was your night, man?"
Y: "It was really good. I went and saw Avatar with my girl."
X: "Nice, how was it?"
Y: "The plot kinda stunk, but the effects were really southern."
X: "I respect that."
Unlike morons would lead you to believe, a confederacy has nothing to do with slavery. A Federal Government has a strong central government with weaker state governments. A Confederate Government has a weak central government with larger state governments.
Student: If anyone ever supports a confederacy, in any situation, they hate black people and feel that white people are dominant.
Public School Teacher: That's correct!
A Person with Common Sense: No the fuck it's not.
the President of the United States of America.
George W. Bush is the dumbest fucking hick in the whole mother fucking world.
If you're a white man, this is what you are. It doesn't even matter if your wife is black and you have an adopted child from India, or how many black friends you have, somehow you're going to end up being a racist according to how the media portrays the white man as "racist whities".
All of this is funny because the white man is the one that is stereotyped as being racist, which is hypocrisy at its best. It's racist to assume that white men are racists.
If you don't get offended by racial insults, then you're apparently racist too, but an actual racist would get offended by it. When you hear a certain word too much (I'm sure we've all heard "cracka" hundreds of times thanks to standup comedy) then you become desensitized to it.
Well, that and the words white people get called sound stupid or non-offending. "cracker" came from cracking whips. Indiana Jones cracked whips too, and he was a badass. "honkey" sounds like some kind of gigantic sandwich, and "white boy" makes you seem like the lone white kid in breakdance movies that stands out amongst the other races and white kids. Most people only really think of rednecks when they think of "white trash" so they don't get offended by it if they're not rednecks.
Statistics guy: It was found out that the majority of blacks in America listen to hip hop---
Overzealous guy: WTF YOU RACIST I HAVE A BLACK FRIEND THAT DOESN'T LISTEN TO HIP HOP
Statistics guy: But I said the majority, meaning not all of th---
Overzealous guy: YEAH WHATEVER HITLER