We must save music
November 07, 2003
The result of a bet between Scott Stapp
frontman Chad Kroeger
, in which Kroeger wagered that Stapp could never create a sound that was an even bigger insult to music than his own shit band. Stapp won the bet by creating the exact same band as Nickelback, only with the added twist of throwing Jesus
into the mix.
Tragically, the shitfest
was cut short when God
, furious at having his name attached to such a mockery as Creed, smote Stapp, resulting in the ultimate breakup of the band.
Creed was the primary inspiration for Eric Cartman
's Christian rock band, Faith + 1.
used to defeat scissors in a game
aha! my rock beat your scissors!
The hideous singer of the equally hideous band Nickelback
Often referred to in Australia by radio station Triple M as the paddlepop lion
, a popular ice cream icon due to his "post grunge" grotesqueness. Also bears uncanny resemblence to Scott Stapp of Creed, both physically and musically. Composes "hit" songs all of which seem to centre around a faux existential protagonist (himself) wallowing in sentimentality after heartbreak. Recently called out for his recycling of the bland "You remind me" for new single "Photograph", the two having the exact same guitar riffs and "melodies", but with Nickelback this is par for the course. For some bizzare reason has sold approximately 20 million records worlwide 13.5 million in the usa alone, i blame this on the mediocrity of mtv and america in general. This man is a shame to the wonderful Canadian music industry and in fact Canada itself. Was owned
whilst performing at a metal festival in Portugal when a corageous audience member threw rocks at him, after which he stormed offstage. Charged in September 06 with drunk driving, we have yet to hear another agonising musical memoir documenting this travesty but undoubtedly in will go double platinum upon its release.
jack: "Is that Scott Stapp?"
sally: "nooo it's Chad Kroeger"
harry: "but it looks like the Paddlepop lion!"
I feel like drowning my existentialist sorrows in burboun, remedial guitar riffs and annoying raspy vocals-I've been Chad Kroegered.
1. One of the most popular swear/cuss/curse words/profanities
2. another word Feces. Poop. Dookie. Scheisse. Poo Poo. Brownies.
The Shit List:
The Ghost Shit
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but there's no shit in the bowl.
The Clean Shit
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there's no shit on the toilet paper.
The Wet Shit
You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.
The Second Wave Shit
This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more.
The Brain Hemorrahage Through Your Nose Shit
Also known as "Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit". You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.
The Corn Shit
No explanation necessary.
The Lincoln Log Shit
The kind of shit that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.
The Nororius Drinker Shit
The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush.
The "Gee, I Really Wish I Could Shit" Shit
The kind where you want to shit, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.
The Wet Cheeks Shit
Also known as the "Power Dump". That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
The Liquid Shit
That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.
The Mexican Food Shit
A class all on its own.
The Crowd Pleaser
This shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.
The Mood Enhancer
This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again.
This shit occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper.
The Guinness Book Of Records Shit
A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.
The Aftershock Shit
This shit has an odour so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next seven hours is affected.
The "Honeymoon's Over" Shit
This is any shit created in the presence of another person.
A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.
Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flushings.
A shit which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.
The Phantom Shit
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.
The Peek-A-Boo Shit
Now you see it, now you don't. This shit is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control.
A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to shit (i.e. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you are nowhere near shitting facilities.
The Snake Charmer
A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position - usually harmless.
The Olympic Shit
This shit occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinker's Shit.
The Back-To-Nature Shit
This shit may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.
The Pebbles-From-Heaven Shit
An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can't shit.
Laxative induced. Doesn't count.
Fear of shitting - can be fatal!
Energizer Vs. Duracell Shit
Also known as a "Still Going" shit.
The Power Dump Shit
The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you're done.
The Liquid Plumber Shit
This kind of shit is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Shit.)
The Spinal Tap Shit
The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.
The "I Think I'm Giving Birth Through My Asshole" Shit
Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap Shits. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards.
The Porridge Shit
The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: a) flush and keep going, or b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.
The "I'm Going To Chew My Food Better" Shit
When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning.
The "I Think I'm Turning Into A Bunny" Shit
When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.
The "What The Hell Died In Here?" Shit
Also sometimes referred to as "The Toxic Dump". Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.
The "I Just Know There's A Turd Still Dangling There" Shit
Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off because if you wipe now, it's going to smear all over the place.
"I have to take a shit"
Another reason why I gave up listening to most modern rock. Think Nickelback
to the second power. Austin Winkler is what happens when you put Chad Kroeger and give him some helium. The music is your generic and formulatic three cord rock that's too predictable. Most of its fanbase consists of NASCAR
fans, right wing hicks, and Pabst Blue Ribbon
Radio DJ: "Up next, we're going to play 'Lips of an Angel' by Nickelback...shit, I mean, Default, damnit, what's that band called again? Oh yeah, Hinder. Actually, fuck that shitty music, it all sounds the same. Let's play Soundgarden instead, at least they had some creativity."
Here are some reasons to be proud to be Canadian:
2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp
3. The size of our footballs fields and one less down
4. Baseball is Canadian
5. Lacrosse is Canadian
6. Hockey is Canadian
7. Basketball is Canadian
8. Apple pie is Canadian
9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ass
10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass
11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed
the Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned it...and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon McKenzie who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied...Go figure..
12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to
13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere.
14. Our civil war was a bar fight that lasted a little over an hour.
15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American
mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught.
16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.
17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company.
18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.
19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.
20. We don't marry our kin-folk.
21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.
22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.
23. A Canadian invented Superman.
BUT MOST IMPORTANT!
24. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on. OOOoohhhhh Canada!!
Oh yeah... and our elections only take one day.
Hey, stick that in your pipe and toke it.
a band that tries to appeal to classic rock lovers but we all hate it. the leader sing of this band sounds like he swallowed many sheets of sand paper. also referd to as Nippleback.
I hate nickleback they try to be cool but are just fags.
Yeah i know i hate nippleback!
what one says when one is afraid to say shit
1. jovial or happy, good-spirited
2. a homosexual male or female
3. often used to describe something stupid or unfortunate. originating from homophobia. quite preferable among many teenage males in order to buff up their "masculinity"
1. "We'll have a gay old time."
2. "You DO know he's gay. Notice his homoerotic pornography collection."
3. "Man, these seats are gay. I can't even see what's going on!"