Thesaurus for Jersey Shore

A sad pathetic excuse for a male; not necessarily of Italian descent, but most likely; usually native to the New York/New Jersey Tri-State area.

WARDROBE: tight zipper shirts, tracksuits, designer jeans, fuzzy kangol hats, tiny hoop earrings, fake gold chains, and related Euro-trash garb and tacky cheese-wear.

NATURAL HABITAT: Known to frequent Tri-State area malls looking for club gear to waste their week's pay on (most likely spotted shopping at "Bang Bang" in Staten Island). During the day when not at their food delivery, telemarketting, or construction job, can be located at their local gym tanning or lifting weights. Can be found nightly at mainstream danceclubs they read about online (SF, Webster Hall, Etc.). Most notable for cruising the Jersey shore in an old car (Honda, Mustang, etc.) which has been tinted, painted and sports $1,000-$3,000 rims in a feeble attempt to look like new. Guido cars usually have a boomin' system through which cheesy music like freestyle, commercial club/trance and hip-hop (anything KTU plays) is loudly blasted.

GENETIC LINKS: Directly related to modern day urban-guidos, A.K.A. "wiggers," A.K.A. "wegros;" urban-guidos are white males who once exhibited the traits referenced above, but have now instead opted to keep it unreal, with wardrobes consisting of clothes from labels like FUBU and Rocawear which they bought on sale at Macy's. These individuals still listen to the same music and drive the same type of car as their predece...

The Best State ever where only the strong survive

n: extra large oompa-loompa that's easier to get on than facebook

NJ is summed up in this quote.

"I am from NJ. I curse... a lot. I say "yo", and I say it often. I never had school on Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur. I sure as hell don't pump my own gas. I know what real pizza tastes like, and I know that a bagel is much more than a fuckin' roll with a hole in the middle. I judge people by what exit they get off the parkway. I can navigate a circle--with attitude. All good nights must end at a diner--preferably with cheese fries. It's a sub, not a hoagie or, worse yet, a hero, and I wash it down with soda, not pop. Two words... "mother fucker." I don't go to the beach, I go down the shore. And boardwalk brawls are just a part of the atmosphere. Yes, I drink cawfee. I know that 65mph really means 80. I've always lived within 10 minutes of a mall. When someone cuts me off, they get the horn AND the finger. And they expect it. I am from New Jersey, and damn proud of it."

~author unknown

The female counterpart to the guido. Usually moderately attractive, with nice fake titts but in desperate need of a nose job. Her voice and personality are so repulsive that only incredibly desperate white males or other guidos/guidettes will listen to her.
She is a mammoth whore, the only type of woman that a guido won't date rape because he doesnt have to. Usually have anywhere between 3 ad 8 STD's, and the super STD chlapmydia is common among the older or more whorish kind. Some of them look like post-op trannies.

4'9" umpalumpa on Jersey Shore best known for being punched in the face.

Mike Sorrentino's Abs on MTV's "reality" show, "Jersey Shore"

An evil corporation trying to brainwash the youth that nothing except being popular matters, and that you have to look good to be of any value, or else you are worthless. They also try to make kids think that blink 182 is "punk", even though they play no actual punk music, most of it is just rap.

The process of staying fresh and mint. Stands for "Gym, tan, laundry." Must be done everyday to achieve maximum potential. Side effects include fist pumping. Coined by the eloquent Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino from MTV's ground breaking Jersey Shore.

What people that live in Philadelphia (philly) and the suburbs call the South Jersey beach.