#jerk off
Top Definition
The act - either planned or unplanned - of falling to sleep after masturbating.
I was just going to rub one out, but I ended up masternapping for an hour.
Bob's been away from his wife for two days, so he went upstairs for a masternap.
Bob's been away from his wife for two days, so he went upstairs for a masternap.
by ScottNWDC
May 16, 2011
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2
Thank you #6 Definition, now read mine girls! its for you! when you are VERY sexually aroused and really need to get some.
kylie woke up and went to school. she kept thinking about the 6th definition of 'horny' on urbandictionary and couldn't focus during english. her pussy was throbbing so hard and she was lucky she was wearing jeans so you couldn't see the wet stains. after school she had to wait for about an hour til the football game started. she was still so wet and her pussy was throbbing SO hard that she went and sat in the deserted bleachers and took off her pants and underwear, and began to rub her pussy. she leaned her head back and moaned. she inserted her middle finger a little into her pussy, and exerted termendous pressure on her twat, causing liquid to come out of her pussy and cover her twat and hand. she started with both hands, and began to rub harder and harder. suddenly, the hottest, sexiest boy in school, davie, came up. she hadn't seen him, but she clearly saw the tent-shaped bulge in his pants through the thin football uniform material. she quickly grabbed him and sat on him with her twat completely uncovered. she thrusted her hips all around and felt the large, hard lump in his pants expand until she thought it would rip the fabric. there was a large wet spot on the front of his pants, from her pussy and his cock. she took off her shirt and all of his clothes, but refused him sex- she masturbated with his cock. she took it in her hands and rubbed it all over her pussy. davie moaned, 'get on with it! lube my rocket!' it was large, and throbbing, and precum was dripping off its end. she rubbed it all over her pussy more and more, and it was completely lubricated. finally she put it inside of her, and thrusted her hips in a circular motion. she flexed her pussy tight again and again and then davie flipped the position over, and began humping her with a bestial intensity. he arched his back and threw back his head and threw forward his hips with every hump, his cock as large and engorged as it had ever been. it felt like a hard plastic dildo inside of her, it ws so hard! finally she felt him explode inside her, and she rubbed and took his cock in and out of her faster and faster, and she exploded in screams, "OH YESS! YESSSS!" by this time, many other football players had turned up, even the coach, for pregame practice, and when she noticed, she withdrew davie's cock from her pussy and opened her legs to them, throwing her head back and moaning, 'SATISFY ME, BABY!" they wrestled for the chance and each tore off their pants, and exposed their throbbing hard cocks, and had their way with her one by one, and each was exhausted afterwards, kylie continued masturbating with both hands in the bathroom after all of them were fully dressed, and when the crowd turned up, they were all wondering why the football team was doing so badly, it was like they had run ten miles for practice!
by kylielovestomasturbate
October 30, 2007
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3
Plural of man.
*Real men* are respectful of women as equals. Love their mamas. Hold doors open. Knock out other men who say stupid ass, sexist bullshit. Will lick pussy after they have been given a blowjob. Bring home an equal paycheck, then do an equal amount of housework and childcare. Don't get pissed off when their usual superior economic status is disrupted by a social shift that allows women to take a step closer to equality. Are strong and protective, while also being loving and gentle. Have the character to restrain their temper. Have a brain in their head. Do not stereotype. Often come with big dicks.
Faux men say stuff like this in the women section of UD, then pop their zits, play some videogames, jack off, and begin to sob, and wonder why nobody will fuck them:
"The female of the human species, that are, more or less, emotionless blobs. Since emotions such as love compliment the human sex drive, men have a higher emotional drive to compliment their higher sex drive. Women, conversely... just wander around looking for another way to suck money out of a man, get him attached and then break his heart. And despite this fact, a woman will spend a good 75% of her time saying that men only think about sex and that women are so much better, even though it is always a man that writes the beautiful love song or poem. Though they're not all like this, the stereotypical woman is lying, conniving, selfish, controlling, manipulative, arrogant and chauvinistic. They have the complete inability to think logically or philosophically, and so if you start to talk to them about something like existence, they'll just say that they're right and your wrong and that you should go buy her something. And different than the woman's belief that men do evil things like start wars and such, it's easy to see that a woman will always be the cause for fighting. The world will be a better place when all of the extremely intelligent genetic scientists (mostly men, so we'd have to have men, whether or not we needed to procreate... women? not so much of a necessity) begin to genetically engineer human beings, without the need for the process of sex."
"A beast created by God to enduce pain upon man for eternity. Bleeds for seven whole days and does not die. Can suck the life out of a man to create smaller evil beast to defend them in court and steal man's hard earned money."
"Punishment from Zeus for mankind because the young god Promethues stole the fire of the gods and gave it to mankind. So Zeus created a new evil for mankind, women."
*Real men* are respectful of women as equals. Love their mamas. Hold doors open. Knock out other men who say stupid ass, sexist bullshit. Will lick pussy after they have been given a blowjob. Bring home an equal paycheck, then do an equal amount of housework and childcare. Don't get pissed off when their usual superior economic status is disrupted by a social shift that allows women to take a step closer to equality. Are strong and protective, while also being loving and gentle. Have the character to restrain their temper. Have a brain in their head. Do not stereotype. Often come with big dicks.
Faux men say stuff like this in the women section of UD, then pop their zits, play some videogames, jack off, and begin to sob, and wonder why nobody will fuck them:
"The female of the human species, that are, more or less, emotionless blobs. Since emotions such as love compliment the human sex drive, men have a higher emotional drive to compliment their higher sex drive. Women, conversely... just wander around looking for another way to suck money out of a man, get him attached and then break his heart. And despite this fact, a woman will spend a good 75% of her time saying that men only think about sex and that women are so much better, even though it is always a man that writes the beautiful love song or poem. Though they're not all like this, the stereotypical woman is lying, conniving, selfish, controlling, manipulative, arrogant and chauvinistic. They have the complete inability to think logically or philosophically, and so if you start to talk to them about something like existence, they'll just say that they're right and your wrong and that you should go buy her something. And different than the woman's belief that men do evil things like start wars and such, it's easy to see that a woman will always be the cause for fighting. The world will be a better place when all of the extremely intelligent genetic scientists (mostly men, so we'd have to have men, whether or not we needed to procreate... women? not so much of a necessity) begin to genetically engineer human beings, without the need for the process of sex."
"A beast created by God to enduce pain upon man for eternity. Bleeds for seven whole days and does not die. Can suck the life out of a man to create smaller evil beast to defend them in court and steal man's hard earned money."
"Punishment from Zeus for mankind because the young god Promethues stole the fire of the gods and gave it to mankind. So Zeus created a new evil for mankind, women."
Jane: "Eliza, all men are assholes. Your standards are too high. You have never met a so-called 'real man.'"
Eliza: "I met him, I fucked him, I married him. And there are others out there, it's just that faux men are louder than real men, so it seems like there are more of them."
Eliza: "I met him, I fucked him, I married him. And there are others out there, it's just that faux men are louder than real men, so it seems like there are more of them."
by Lick_it_bitch
August 25, 2006
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4
semen
The young journalist realized he had been tricked when the critic, now spent, mocked him saying, "there's your pull it sir prize."
by Truckdriver
April 26, 2009
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5
Opposite sex of women. Most men think they are better than women, and most women think they are better than men. When you really think about it, women are better than men. Men can be smart, caring, understanding, creative individuals, but the fact that the only thing most of them care about is fucking some hot ass blonde chick with tits the size of watermelons up the ass and jacking off to slutty porn stars and their 14 year old, sexually developing female neighbors (lmao), takes it all away and makes us (women) the better sex. Advice to men: If you really want us women to respect you then stop: getting boners from looking at sluts walking down the street in thongs up to their armpits, raping your 12 year old daughters just because they're growing visable breasts and you wonder what it would be like to squeeze the hell out of them and/or how tight they're pussies are, cheating on your wives just because they've gained 5 pounds, claiming to be more intelligent than women while making yourselves look fucking stupid by urging your wife to get breast implants to increase their breast size to a 44 triple GGGGGG when breast implants could cause serious health problems, saying things like, "fat chicks suck" or "i hate chicks with no tits", when most men fail to realize that the male body is ANYTHING but beautiful if they do not work out on a daily basis and take viagra, thinking with their penises, thinking that a woman that weighs 88 pounds is "thick"...the list goes on and on. The truth is that the only reason men were put on this planet is to reproduce, make more humans, and piss us women off. And I'm not a Christian. Whoever wrote the bible was a sexist pig (not saying that I'm not) that thought women weren't as good as men (YES they did! If you have ever actually read the bible then you know), however, most women stillll want to follow this religion and don't even know how much they are embarrassing themselves. Well I'm getting off topic here so bottom line: women are better than men so suck my female genetalia. Oh yeah, gay men are waaaaaaaayy better. Damn this definition is long so I'll just shut up now.
Typical man: Hey! You have huge tits, a nice ass, you're shorter than me, and you weigh 88 pounds! Let me shove my huge cock in your pussy and bang your brains out, even though I already have a wife at home who would sleep with me!!!
Slutty Girl: Sure I will let you do that because I have no brain and I want to make myself feel better about how slutty and uneducated I am by fucking any and every man that comes my way!
Respectable Girl: No *walks away*
The man then violently rapes both girls because he is one of those men that think women "shouldn't have a choice".
Men are the scum of the Earth.
Slutty Girl: Sure I will let you do that because I have no brain and I want to make myself feel better about how slutty and uneducated I am by fucking any and every man that comes my way!
Respectable Girl: No *walks away*
The man then violently rapes both girls because he is one of those men that think women "shouldn't have a choice".
Men are the scum of the Earth.
by Pete Wentz
March 25, 2007
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6
A measure of time one is likely to be away from a task at hand, equal to that commonly allocated to the act of masturbating
Luke: Where are you going?
Ryan: I'm off to some guy's place from craigslist to j/o in his model train room, I'll be back in a jizzy.
Luke: Can you bring back some crab meat?
Ryan: Is imitation ok?
Luke: Fo shizzle!
Ryan: I'm off to some guy's place from craigslist to j/o in his model train room, I'll be back in a jizzy.
Luke: Can you bring back some crab meat?
Ryan: Is imitation ok?
Luke: Fo shizzle!
by SlypGyp
February 15, 2013
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7
Similar to bed time, but takes place about 5 minutes prior. It's that special time of night when, you guessed it, masterbation occurs.
"I gotta go, it's my beat time."
by LosrDogg
July 26, 2009
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