The absolute straightest guy you will ever encounter in your lifetime. He passes the Geoffrion standard of being straight and hooking up with chics.
He talks a big game about liking dudes and not being straight but then he just does something like pay for a CHIC to go to Vegas with him. Real cute right? Kind of like a sweet little lovers getaway? I think so as well...
Did I mention he made out with Tommy mouse in the boom-boom room? How about taking a stripper out for a seafood botana? Oh yeah… He’s done that one too! Let’s see… Make out with multiple chics at various SB2K’s…check. Take a stretch hummer limo to the strip club…check. Seeing a chic at SB2K6 and having to hide his HUGE boner by standing behind a trashcan…check. Giving half naked massages to girls…check. Walk around lake house with his big ol’ wiener hanging out while hitting on 19 year old CHICS…check. Hell, this guy even has an entire facebook album of nothing but pictures of one chic!!! Man, this guy is beginning to sound like the poster boy of straight dudes everywhere!
Sure…the guy can seriously shred some karaoke, and I will not even try to take that away from him. But what good is the most awesome rendition of “End of the Road” when he’s serenading a girl when poor lil’ Toombs is sitting there with no one to sing sweet melodies in his ear? Not cool… This guy would give Bryan Earl Spilner, The Rock, Ron Jeremy, Wilt Chamberlain, and even Arnold a run for their money for being the straightest guy in the world!!!
Did I mention this guy is Mr. Fish Camp? He has a Facebook group devoted to making him even more of a Mr. Fish Camp. That should be enough to solidify him as the straightest of the straight. I’m talking STRAIGHT!!!
And he is a good wiper… I’m talking as clean as they come…
If I were going to have a word association with Tommy to being straight it would be as follows:
Dan Coomb’s slider is to awesome as Tommy is to straight….
T-ram wrote on Kate Allen's Wall: Dear Kate Allen,
I think I am in love with you.......come to vegas with me dec 30th- jan 4th and lets get married
T-ram wrote on Annie Danchenka's Wall: i was going to profess my love for you but then I was awed with your striking beauty and I started to panic and just copied the first message i saw. wuv you. I bet you look cuter in a bikini than a baby panda playing paw games with a baby polar bear
T-ram wrote on Amy Ducote's wall: Gal you are a Certified Dime Piece. CERTIFIED
T-ram wrote on Kristen Neuman's wall: get back here so i can give you some sweet sweet lovin'
T-ram wrote on Hannah Broussard's wall: I decided that since we probably wont score anymore you owe me a kiss everytime a play doesnt lose yardage
Prices shown in USD.
Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!
Emails are sent from firstname.lastname@example.org. We'll never spam you.