The bitter and unhappy wife of the Sugar Daddy candy. Sits at home while Sugar Daddy parties it up with peeps such as Babe Ruth and M&M. Sugar Momma is usually only content when payday comes to visit with a 100 Grand.
Before the Partwii, Lauren, the cyborg, bus surfed over to Mickey D’s with his brofriend Chuck Norris and bought a McGangbang happy meal with the funds that he jacked from his sugar momma after his disco nap that afternoon. Chuck pulled out his phone from his nuthuggers and started sexting a ginger slice with a tramp stamp that he had been friendly following ever since they shared a game of Jager pong. Lauren gave Chuck the air jerk as he noticed Tanasa the grade digger that sat next to him in his art class. Lauren gave her the “let’s just be friends” nod and grabbed his happy meal. As Lauren walked outside he saw, Bruce, the designated drunk, as he started wailing teenybopper show tunes. Bruce was manstrating again and wanted his fix of Dr. Pepper and Big league chew. The night of celebrating Lauren’s nomotion had barely even started and already he was knackered.
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