Someone who misuses the word "status" as a concrete object in the workplace. This is usually the sign of a micro-manager or someone working their way towards middle management.
Mary: I asked for that report last week. Can I get a status?
Bob: It's almost done
Mary: I need a status on that requisition.
Phil: It should be ready by Tuesday.
Mary: Could you give me a status on the new program?
Alan: Sure, how about "pending?"
Mary: Uh no, I mean... I need to know... Uh...
Alan: What? I gave you a status, you status assassin!
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