A game with a very strict set of rules. It is ran by Mr. Dick Tater. Players may call him any variation of the words dick, and potato. The game is started with the customary tip-of-the-hat, and the customary shaloob. The ball is then put in play by Mr. Tallywhacker Beerfries. Players may "thwap", by slapping their thighs in the direction they wish to send the ball. Players may not alter the direction of the thwapping. Players may also "Zoom" by making eye-contact with another player, and pointing their elbow at the player. Players cannot "thwap a thwap thwap", or Use a thwap three times in rapid succession, unless it is all done by one player, before anyone else has thwapped. This also goes for Zooming. Players must raise their hand and be called on by Mr. Penis Potato. All players must address each other with the Title of Mr. or Ms.. Players may not use any pronouns. The breaking of any rules is rewarded with Penance points. The player with the most penance points at the end of the game "wins" and must do a dare.
Paul: Hey, lets play silent football!
Group: HELL YEAH! I'm sick of contact.
Paul: I call Dick-tater. Customary tip of the hat!
Group: customary tip of the hat
Paul: Customary shaloob
Group: Customary shaloob
Paul: The ball is now in play, all rules are now in effect.
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