My definition of Redneck is as follows:
1. A White person who, after a hard day of work and a good homecooked supper reads the ridiculous definitions of redneck on the internet.
2. A White person who is laughing their ass off at redneck criticizers online who have so many typos in their comments, it's almost hysterical, but definitely hypocritical. It's hard to take somebody seriously when they are attacking someone elses intelligence and they can't spell a word themselves.
3. A redneck can hail from any state in the United States. We are NOT relegated to the South. Rednecks laugh and shake their heads when they read things like we sleep with our dads and brothers, because it's almost unheard of, realistically speaking.
4. A redneck can change your oil or your tire with his eyes closed. They don't have to call triple A to come rescue them when their car breaks down, like most city slickers do. They can venture off into the woods and bring home supper, like a real man should be able. Aint nothin' like a fresh killed deer, city folks. Venison is low in fat, for you health conscious yuppies.
5. Rednecks generally have traditional values and are not afraid to say it like they see it. A redneck knows that no black guy would say anti-redneck things to his face. Not with that well stocked gun rack on his jacked up pickup, no sir!
6. "Aint skeered"- two redneck males owned a fireworks stand in the country. 4 black males from NY stopped their Honda and got out to try to rob them. The redneck boys grabbed their shotguns and chased the city boys back to their crappy import and they took off. True story. That is the spirit of the redneck.
7. You're in a bank when a robber walks in with a gun and threatens to blow everyone away. He demands the money and is about to shoot the female teller dead when he suspects she is sounding the alarm. While you liberal gun control freaks are pissing your pants, the redneck takes out his legal concealed pistol and blows the criminal away.
8.Yes, rednecks tend to live in rural areas. We like it this way because we are usually free of Africanus Criminalis.
"Datz won scarry lookin' redneck, Leroy- mahbee weez shoodnt carjack hiz whyte azz.."
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