A nice guy is the no-in between guy. He is either bald or so exceptionally hairy that he creates shade like a willow tree. He may be shaped like Baby Hughey or thinner than a crack whore (although he will neither use crack or be a whore since he's a nice guy.) In fact they are often virgins (naturally or born again) and volunteer time and funds to drug rehabiliation and other noteworthy programs. The nice guy may have impaired vision and wear thick glasses that create the highly undesirable affects of a funhouse mirror.Other nice guys may have excellent vision in their eyes that bulge, wander or cry frequently. The NICE GUY makes an excellent friend as he picks up tabs, earns trust, runs errands, rarely complains, watches chick flicks, rubs your feet, accepts collect calls, posts bail, and holds a steady job. He is however, unworthy of being kissed or touched in a romantic way - because you can treat the Nice guy anyway you wish and he will accept you with open arms. There is no need to praise, or show positive emotion or affection toward the nice guy... he's loyal as a pooch.
Nice Guy: "We've been friends for a long time now - and I feel really close to you..."
Woman: (immediately interrupts to break his heart) "You're a NICE GUY... but I don't want to ruin our friendship"
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