generally performed first thing in the morning before work starts and anyone is awake. sneak out to kitchen, turn lights on, start kettle boiling so as to make noise to act as the alibi proving you are in the kitchen, sneak very softly to the toilet an crank the shit outta yourself, sneak back out to kitchen then walk loudly back to toilet and piss loudly to give you a legitimate reason to be flushing toilet.
(alarm goes of) *beep beep beep*
(think to yourself) "hmmm....another piss fat. time for married sex"
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