1. Tinea cruris, or ringworm of the groin area. Tinea is a fungus or yeast-like organism that is normally found on skin but overgrows into an infection when there is a weakened state or unbalance. Tinea can also infect the feet (athlete's foot, tinea pedis), the body, or the scalp (ringworm, not a worm at all, given the name from the spreading of the infection that makes a sort of round ring-like red mark on the margins of the infected area.)
Jock itch was said by Bill Cosby to be "better than a good woman", referring to the utter relief found by uninterrupted scratching to relieve the nasty itch.
2. The yearning to be an athlete by a physically unremarkable nerdy kid.
Beauregard kept his wife Fanny up all night with his incessant scratching of his scrotum. Finally, tired of the bed shaking, she tossed him out with the hounds, saying if he wanted to scratch his privates, he could do it in company that appreciated such activities. Beauregard retorted that she was remarkably unsympathetic about his jock itch and reminded her how he was completely sensitive to her situation when she had a yeast infection. Beauregard is getting used to sleeping permanently in the dog house.
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