The ultimate lord and ruler of the universe, and the deity of the Pastafarian religion. He created the world using His Great Noodley Appendage.
No other monsters can be worshiped before Him (after is fine, just use protection).
The only Monster deserving of capitalization, other monsters are inferior to Him, unworthy of capitalization.
Even Christians have accepted that He has more balls than their god.
His first and most holy disciples were the pirates, who
(contrary to what the old age Christians would tell you) traveled the world and gave children candy.
Unfortunately, the number of pirates are shrinking, causing global warming and other natural disasters to rise.
Some places still have pirates, like Somalia, which has the lowest carbon emissions of any country, coincidence?
He, in His infinite wisdom, created the Eight "I'd really rather you didn't s", the holy tenets of the Pastafarian religion.
For example: "I'd really rather you didn't build multimillion-dollar synagogues / churches / temples / mosques / shrines to His Noodly Goodness when the money could be better spent ending poverty, curing diseases, living in peace, loving with passion and lowering the cost of cable."
When one dies, they will be with Him in heaven, along with a Stripper factory and a Beer Volcano.
On the first day, the Flying Spaghetti Monster separated the water from the heavens; on the second, because He could not tread water for long and had grown tired of flying, He created the land—complemented by a beer volcano. Satisfied, the Flying Spaghetti Monster overindulged in beer from the beer volcano and woke up hungover. Between drunken nights and clumsy afternoons, the Flying Spaghetti Monster produced seas and land (for a second time, accidentally, because he forgot that he created it the day before) along with Heaven and a midget, which he named Man. Man and an equally short woman lived happily in the Olive Garden of Eden for some time until the Flying Spaghetti Monster caused a global flood in a cooking accident.
"If you don't like us, your old religion will most likely take you back."-Bobby Henderson
Prices shown in USD.