A is for Angsty; always angsty, often without reason.
B is for Bangs; to cover their eyes in a rather stupid way, causing them to trip a lot.
C is for Clone; they are all alike.
D is for Define; they not only are emo, they must constantly define themselves as emo.
E is for Everybody; all the people who want to beat them up.
F is for Facebook; because they can't make friends in real life.
G is for "Guys"; because it just needs air quotes.
H is for Half Haircut; because they only pay for half which is why they have side bangs.
I is for I; because that is all they think about.
J is for Joyless, because they are determined to have no fun.
K is for Kitten; because they are equal to kittens in both stregnth and intellegence.
L is for Love: because they cry so much about it.
M is for Myspace.com; because otherwise they would have no friends.
N is for Nonconformist; because they are such nonconformists because they conform to the nonconformists.
O is for Overly Dramatic; because they can't stop whining.
P is for Poetry; it takes two emos to screw in a lightbulb, on to do it, and one to write a poem about it.
Q is for Quitters; because they are such experts.
R is for Razors; because their HD TVs are not big enough, so the solution is self-mutilation.
S is for Scars; up and down their arms.
T is for Tantrum; because the store was out of their favourite soy drink.
U is for Ugly; because most of them don't know they are, but all of them are.
V is for Virgin; no reason at all...
W is for Want; because no matter ho much they have, thay still want more.
X is for X-acto; they cut themselves to feeeeeel.
Y is for Youth; among many things wasted.
Z is for Zero, all the world wants and needs.
Dick: ...Want, X-acto, Youth, and Zero.
Jane: What was that song you were singing, Dick?
Dick: It is the emo alphabet, from our book "Emo With Dick and Jane."
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