The Cleveland Steamer, contrary to popular belief, is not the act of defacating on your partner's chest before, during, or after sex. The true Cleveland steamer is the act of filling a large, deep bowl with feces and microwaving it untill it is steaming hot, and then having sex with it, usually resulting in extreme pain and sever burns.
Did you hear about John? He got rushed to the burn ward after trying a cleveland steamer.
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