According to what school tells you: A great man who accidentally discovered America when no one else could find it.
Reality: A greedy piece of genocidal shit who wasn't the first person to find America, the Native Americans discovered America before anyone else and after the Native Americans found America, vikings discovered America, and a several explorers found it too. But for some reason, Columbus ends up taking all the credit for something the Native Americans discovered.To add insult to injury, he ends up enslaving a bunch of Native Americans to take to Spain as slaves (this is 100% true) and his Spanish sailors and him killed approximately 8 million Native Americans (also true) Talk about some major bullshit.
Teacher: And that's how Christopher Columbus discovered America when no one else did.
4th grader: *raises his hand*
Teacher: Yes, Timmy?
4th grader: Didn't the Native Americans discover America first?
Teacher: Nope, it was Columbus!
4th grader: I'm pretty sure it was the Native Americans.
Teacher: I SAID IT WAS COLUMBUS!!!
4th grader: But-
Teacher: THAT IS IT! YOU ARE GOING TO WRITE "Columbus discovered America, not the Native Americans." 50 TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Prices shown in USD.
Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!
Emails are sent from firstname.lastname@example.org. We'll never spam you.