A country full of "doods" wearing speedos with pubic hair sticking out and big gold chains. They listen to chalga and and drink Rakija like it's water. If Russians ever come (military or civilian) they pay gypsies a carton of cigarettes to wait for them at the airport with sticks and pitchforks. In fact, most Bulgarians are probably gypsies. The women have recently developed a new style - short, cropped red dyed hair (on the head and the genitals). If you have a TV back in your home country, they'll probably sleep with you (even if you are a Turk!). If that happens (if you ever visit this primitive land), you can be sure that you will wake up covered in sweaty pretzels and gummy worms (a favorite snack of the Bulgar) and there will be a general stench of Rakija and vomit. The woman will likely be gone with your wallet and your chewing gum. Bulgaria is indeed a beautiful place.
When I went to bulgaria, I got 5 different veneral diseases. There are no places to buy condoms, for, when the Russians tried to bring them, they were shot on sight.
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