1: The name of one of the few high-school running coaches from Northern California to be consistently successful. Reasons for success include:
a). He won't take shit from anybody. If you're not ready to cut your balls off and sacrifice them to the gods of running, you can get the fuck out.
b). He's a psychopathic tank of bull-shark testosterone who will sodomize you if you question him.
c). Doesn't give two shits about anyone who is a non-runner. (Has been known to beat the shit out of annoying adolescent skateboarders with his enormous boner). This has resulted in him being ostracized from society and devoting his life to forging an iron legacy of champions in the faraway land of Morriga. (Moraga).
d). Trains all his cross country and track athletes with equal dedication, but he can work miracles with you if you're fast/aren't a pussy, and/or are jailbait. (Girls with smaller boobs run faster. Also, SOMEONE has to teach them how to do it.)
2: A person whose failure to grasp the complexities of speaking proper english is exceeded only by their love of motorcycles. Often wears enough motorcycle armor to suggest that they are in imminent danger of being hit by 20 tons of weapons-grade plutonium.
3: Someone dressed like middle-aged herb but is secretly a party animal who's jacked out of his mind. Wears the wardrobe of a slightly out-of-touch high school teacher to avoid the hassle.
4: Synonymous with a boner so hairy it probably belongs to an African gorilla.
Woolridge: "You better keep your asshole TIGHT!"
(warning to one of his runners; presumably how he likes 'em)
Guy: "I thought I saw Master Chief on a Harley the other day, but I realized he was just a Woolridge when he said 'herro' to me."
ICU patient: "how was I supposed to know that woolridge was part of a Fight Club?"
A single woolridge, when shaved, allows the Locks of Love foundation to make enough wigs for an entire month.
Prices shown in USD.
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