1) Population: almost 1,300. Maybe.
2) A village in which the sluts roam free.
3) Safest village, although you can not move 5 feet without running into a meth lab.
4) Home of Austin Groff (kid who makes miracle shots) and David Good (Mancode).
5) Home of the Mike Dixon (bike thief).
6) Home of world's largest speed bump.
7) Record of most lost football games in a row. (Even though it has the best football coach known to man.)
8) Where the cops look like their 12. Whic is kinda good since they don't really do anything.
9) The place where girls rides dick more than they do horses. (Although there's a lot of horse riding going on too.)
I went to West Alexandria yesterday. Before I left I knew everyones name, and who was having sex with who. I also watched a house blow up. I sat around and roasted marshmallows with David Good and Austin Groff, while waiting for the no-show cops. Groff threw a marshmallow through his legs with his eyes closed and it landed in Good's mouth. I found the cops later though, they were chasing Dixon down while he was ramping the speed bump. The football coach was traling right along screaming his favorite saying, "Got to have moxy fellas!!" even though they were losing the game 72-7. The coach was also raging because half the team (about 7 people) didn't show up to the game. They got a better offer. They were being "rode like horses" by the town sluts. For most people, this would be odd behavior. But for the village people, this was exceptional behavior. Apparently, this was a good day.
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