Quasi-metal band that started the late 70s, featuring the 'virtuoso' guitar player, Eddie Van Halen and frontman/clown David Lee Roth. Some of their early songs (Running with the Devil, Jamie's Cryin') are listenable to most people, but over the long haul, their juvenile themed songs get old. The guitar wanking gets even older.
They developed huge following of high school loser guys who dreamed of being guitar wankers themselves, often playing air guitar in their bedrooms on weekend nights instead of getting out of the house and interacting with human beings. Said fans were disillusioned in the mid-80s when the clown left the circus and Sammy Haggar, an even worse singer, joined. His forte prior to joining Van Halen was recording juvenile themed songs like "I Can't Drive 55" and "Trans Am", obviously something that loser high school kids would latch onto. The closest these loser kids will get to being actual guitar wankers themselves is developing throat cancer and arthritic hips as Eddie Van Halen did in the late 90s. Possible sightings in the future might be a Roth-Van Halen reunion at the Naperville town carnival in 2007.
High school loser, circa 1979 - "Van Halen rocks, man!"
Same loser, circa 2006 - "Put your stretch pants on, honey, and bring *cough cough* me my smokes, we're going *cough cough* to the carnival and see Van Halen. *hack cough hack* And can we stop *cough cough* by your sisters house to borrow some money for beer? *wheez*
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