1. A woman older than 25, has children, can be married who has a very old saggy crusty vaj. She sits at home at her computer masturbating to pictures of Edward Cullen. She doesn't bathe her kids, or feed them, instead locks them in a cage and tosses in a couple crackers now and then.
2. A group of 40 something pre-menopausal women who have been neglecting their children, spouses, jobs, and various pets since 2008 to post their ramblings about a dazzling 107 year old vampire who who is stuck in an eternal hell of high school and the clumsy, idiotic girl who loves him.
3. A website full of uneducated middle aged women who sneak onto the set of the Twilight movie, but "keep their distance" so they stay on good terms with the production company. However, to a Twilight Mom, keeping distance means illegally taking video and pictures from a full yard away.
4. What you get on your dick after having sex with an elf.
"Ughh. I need something to eat. I'm hungrier than a Twilight Mom's kid."
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