You have sucessfully played the tuba when you do the following. Find a girl over 200lbs. Have her mount you in the 69 position. Make sure her right leg lies between your right shoulder and neck. If she's limber she might even be able to wrap her fat leg behind your back. Her other leg should be in the normal 69 position with her calf, ankle and foot behind your back. She has now mounted you much like a person carries a tuba. Now blow air into her gelatinous ass untill she plays you a massive musical fart.
It was almost 2am, so I settled on some fat chick. I took her home and played her like a tuba! Maybe next time I’ll give her the Texas Tongue Torch.
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