Toms River is the greatest place on earth! Everyone who is not from the area talks about it like it sucks, yet they all come here during the summer to go "down the shore" (even if they are traveling north to get here). Tommies are not to be confused with the bennies who come here for vacation. The girls do not wear fifty pounds of make up and twenty pounds of hair everyday, and the boys do not sport Brooklyn Blowouts and wife-beaters to show off their non-muscles and NO ONE has a trashy accent.Toms River is most known for winning The Little League World Championship a few years ago. There are MILLIONS of people in this town which result is 12 elementary schools, 3 intermediate schools, and 4 (soon to be 5) high schools. Toms River North (aka Heroin High because one kid did heroin there like 20 years ago) is where all of the richies of the town go. The girls are hot the guys are good at sports and everyone drives a hot car. It is home of the Poland Springs areana and gets yearly renovations to keep it looking great. It also hosts Toms River Fest, an event that causes everyone who is from Toms River to leave town. Toms River East (Pregnancy Point) is know for having no windows. It's located pretty much in the woods and is filled with prostitots. Toms River South (Suicide South) is the oldest school and needs some fixing up. The students there have the most pride and support their sports and are invovled in most things that go on at the school. They also have a nice downtown area to walk to lunch and eat at Java Joint. Mon Don is the private school where people who are kicked out of the other schools go. If you are hungry just drive for five minutes and you will spot a hundred Wawas no matter where you are. The mall is extremely tiny but kids between 7th grade and 10th grade flock there every Friday night until they discover alcohol. Half of the people who live here were on MTV whether they were being MADE or stopped by Seaside over one of the many summers that MTV was there. When you are from Toms River no matter where you go someone will ask if you know another person from Toms River... and you probably won't. Toms River has one of the largest Halloween Parades in the world. You have to make your own fun in Toms River and if you have great friends that's easy to do.When someone from Tomes River goes away to college they realize how great the town really is. You will never find anyone like a Tommie. Tommies believe that Toms River is the best place on Earth.. and it definately is.
I wish I was from Toms River so I could be as cool as a Tommie.
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