Thor is the subject, in modern society, of a dualistic nature. In Norse Mythology, Thor is known as the son of Odin, wields the magic hammer, Mjolnir, and he is killed by the Midgard Serpent, Jormagund. But recently, through divine intervention, he has been revived through his eternal tie with the nectar of the Gods, beer. If Thor drank a beer now, its name would be Keystone Light and he would drink every Friday night in Morgantown at the CFC.
Thor is known through cult worship now as the God of the ancient practice of "beer pong."
What is "beer pong" you ask? Though its true meaning was lost some 2500 years ago, it still lives on within the heart of every college student in America. The "game" "beer pong" was originally created by the Norse Gods as a way to ease their stress in a competitive, heterosexual way. One God in particular excelled at the "game," Thor, and he gained much insight into celestial knowledge through it. In fact he was so infatuated with "beer pong" that he snuck it to the mortals on Earth behind the other God's backs, so they too could revel in its glory. Soon the people of Earth loved "beer pong" and all was good in the land.
Shortly after Thor was killed by Jormagund and the people lamented his death. "Beer pong" was ceased for seven years among Norse tribes after Thor's demise, in respect for its patron saint. The ancient practice soon fell into oblivion along with the Viking Boy Band, The Back-Fjord Boys and also a popular dance craze called, Smite the Christian.
Some 2500 years later, the spirit of Thor was revived and he once again bestowed the game "beer pong" upon the college students of America, who are known as the "chosen ones."
To this day Thor can beat anyone at beer pong and can still drink them under the table. Thor currently resides in Morgantown with his 157 wives which he rails every night...in succession, without respite. He also attends CFC every Friday night and manifests himself in human form within a lucky contender...usually Mon.
And the story continues...
My God, (insert name) is amazing, he owned that 1, 4, 6 split! The divine presence of Thor must be with him on this night.
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