A really unimpressive coffee company that is over hype by middle school kids who think they are emo but are just hormonal and bitchier than the more superior of the human race. Everything taste like coffee, I shit you not. Go in and get a hot chocolate. What do you expect in your hot chocolate? Hot water, Chocolate mix or syrup... That's simple right? Nah they're all like "Yo, I'mma put coffee in this so that way it just tastes the same as EVERYTHING ELSE in this shop." Way to alienate your possible consumers. Oh and the sizes are a bitch too. Tall? Vente? Grande? Uhm... Aren't tall and grande close to being synonymous? Don't matter, they're all over priced and basically the same size anyways. They're putting their stores in funeral homes. Well that's just fucking depressing. Imagine the people who have to work at those homes and see sad people all day and dead bodies? They make sales expecting people to drown their misery in hot chocolate/ coffee, coffee milk/ coffee flavored coffee.
I wonder what would happen if starbucks opened its own deli. Would the sandwiches be "Ham and coffee grinds?" Or "Coffee bean and swiss?" They would have head cheese but instead of meat in the head cheese it would be coffee grinds.
I say "Screw that" Go to dunkin donuts, get yourself a hot chocolate that tastes like it's supposed to.
Dude 1: "Yo, let's go to starbucks."
Dude 2: "Do they have non-coffee? I hate coffee"
Dude 1: "Yeah... Get a hot chocolate dude that shouldn't be bad"
Dude 2: "K"
Starbucks cashier: "How may I help you?"
Dude 1: "I'd like a small..."
Starbucks Cashier: "You mean tall?"
Dude 1: "You know what I mean small mocha chai with... Meh fuck it all drinks here taste the same anyways, just pour liquid in a cup and charge me"
Starbucks Cashier: "Anything else?"
Dude 2: "Get me a grande Hot chocolate with cinnamon"
Starbucks Cashier: "Kk that will be $10.82"
They pay and get out of there
Dude 2: "Bleh... This hot chocolate tastes like COFFEE!!!"
Dude 1: "Shit happens when you go to starbucks bro."
Prices shown in USD.
Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!
Emails are sent from firstname.lastname@example.org. We'll never spam you.