A fat, useless 'Springer' Spaniel that has lost it's will to spring and just inhabits my sofa most of the day. Needs to go out and get a life instead of needing to be dragged off of aforesaid sofa for a walk. Also needs to learn how to do something useful instead of the lamely holding up of one paw and saying 'hello' (which he will only do for food).
Even getting a cat cannot shift this lardarse animal from it's slumber. The cat just invariably sleeps next to the retarded canine.
As a dog, this breed makes a good draft excluder! (not as good as sausage dogs perhaps?)
"Oh you appear to have a large brown turd on your sofa?"
"No, you'll have to excuse the smell. It's my spaniel Charlie. He used to be a springer, but just can't be arsed these days. That's why he failed as a police/ sniffer dog"
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