Generally a middle-class to high-class Caucasian woman, 30-50 years of age. She drives a minivan. Doesn't give a damn that all the other kids at their "sweet little angel's" school think they are arrogant brats because they have been raised by a soccer mom. Forbids their kids to listen to any kind of music except Kidz Bop, the suckiest band of all time. Has all the channels blocked on TV except for PBS Kids. Even Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network (also sucky channels) are unsafe because the characters are mean to their siblings. (Welcome to reality, soccer moms.) Won't let kids see any movie that's PG-13 or R. If it's PG, she must watch it first. Involves her kids in many after school activities. Won't let her kids use the Internet because you know every website on the Net is crawling with rapists and child molesters and sexual predators and criminals and robbers and murderers. Ugh!
I'm a teenager. So I was spending some of my birthday money and walked out of the store one day with a see-through bag loaded with a pack of tampons, a few shaving razors, some shaving cream, Green Day's Bullet in a Bible, season 6 of Seinfeld, a miniskirt, and a box of movie popcorn. A soccer mom comes up to me and says "Why do you use tampons? Why do you shave your legs? You're too young. Green Day? Have you ever listened to Kidz Bop? They're wonderful. Seinfeld is so inappropriate. Why don't you watch Arthur? You shouldn't wear a miniskirt. And do you know how many calories are in that bow of popcorn?" I told her, "I'm a teenager, moron, so I should be using tampons and shaving my legs. Kidz Bop sucks and so does Arthur, miniskirts are not inappropriate, and I don't watch my weight. I'm only 75 pounds. So SCREW YOU!" She covered her kid's ears and told me not to use that language. I repeated, "SCREW YOU!" and walked away.
Prices shown in USD.
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